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The Part Time Leprechaun

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Pinká4áTwink

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This story is about an angry tool shed leprechaun who kills his bosses in Zanaris, and leaves his job to adventure Runescape only to anger the White knights who for no reason at all make him a wanted man, along the way, He'll realize just what it means to lead, and how to become a better person than he is.

Schmitty Fit*patrick: This unassuming tool shed Leprechaun is angry to have spent 2,000 years doing nothing but helping Players by storing their tools. Now he has had enough. he wants nothing more than a full on war with the Toolshed Leprechaun Service.

Patrick Fit*patrick. Schmitty's twin brother, he quits his job because he is now a wanted man. unlike Schmitty, Patrick loved his job. So now he is very angry at Schmitty for making him quit.

Sir Juntar Varze: Sir Amik Varze' son, he is hunting the two rebellious Leprechauns for his father.

Scottie: Just your average White Knight idiot, cant do anything right! but Juntar take him anyway because an angry leprechaun is a dangerous leprechaun.

Doctor Pedigree: This man is a mad scientist, a doctor, and a trained assassin who poisons targets in his hospital, He is also an frienemy of schmitty

Billy"Fireworks" Dean: he is a complete bigoted redneck ass hole who absolutely hates leprechauns he carries lots of explosives and shoots at random people for no apparent reason.



*Edited on September 1, 2015
I, Your humble, servant, Emotional (Emo) Muslim
Am terribly sorry for the page thirteen disaster, It really is terrible, An entire page of double posts.

Hope you all enjoy
Got Pink? =)

06-Oct-2013 20:46:18 - Last edited on 02-Sep-2015 04:44:33 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

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Chapter 1 The Part Time Leprechaun (part 1)
Schmitty: taking all forms of tools here!
Player: can you hold my warhammer?
Schmitty: NO I CAN NOT HOLD YOU GUTHIX DAMN WARHAMMER!! * kicks the player in the shin*
Player: owwowowowowow! you kick hard
*Schmitty lights a ciggy*
Schmitty: Still taking all forms of tool here!
Player: here take all my sheers, I don't need them anymore
S**mitty: SURE SURE! give me all your Guthix damn sheers *takes the players sheers and cuts off the player's arm*
Player: what the hell was that for?
Schmitty: Just for ***** and giggles, mate! :)
Player: You meannie, Imma tell my mommy! *runs away crying*
Schmitty: * Yells at the player* Your mom is a computer animated **********!
* After a long day of working in the sun with no pay later*
Schmitty: Gah! useless players, They cant even go to a bank to deposite their tools
and *sees a four leaf clover* Yay A four leaf clover, *attempts to pick it up but he pulls out a troll*
Schmitty: OH BRING IT ON, YOU LOUSY GOOD FOR NOTHING...
*Troll attempts to kill Schmitty*
*Schmitty cuts off the troll's left arm with sheers*
Troll: your kidding, right? * his arm grows back*
Schmitty: DAMMIT, TAKE THIS YOU ******* TROLL!!!!
Sticks a grenade up the troll's butt and runs*
*Grenade explodes sending a glorious amount of blood*
Troll's boyfriend: Dammit That was my boy friend! you will pay for that!
Schmitty: NO I WONT! places a mine down
Troll: DIE!!! *steps on the mine*
Troll: oh fml!!! :( *blows up* *troll drops a four leaf clover*
Schmitty: That was fun!
*Epic Irish music plays*
*end of part one*
Got Pink? =)

06-Oct-2013 20:48:57 - Last edited on 06-Oct-2013 23:15:04 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

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Part 2
*The next day*
Schmitty: Well since I have SOOO many sheers, Imma sell all of their sheers at the GE
and Blackmail them
Goes to the GE and sells all the sheers* *writes ransom notes to all the players who hav millions of gp*
Note: dear Player: I have taken the liberty of Sheernapping your sheers and rakes, and seed dippers, and seeds and holding them hostage, If you do not comply, by sending me 785 million gp, I will sell them to the GE. Your VERY helpful Toolshed Leprechaun, Schmitty.
Random Player: DAMN LEPRECHAUN!
Schmitty gets over 9,000,000,000,000,000,000k gp from his latest scam
S**mitty: Keep it Coming!
Patrick: SCHMITTY!!!
Schmitty: OH ****, It probably ******* Patrick!
Patrick: I can hear you!
Schmitty: No you cant
Patrick: Yes I can!
Schmitty: *comes out and kicks Patrick in the nuts*
*Patrick falls to the ground*
Patrick: Cripes man, you don't have to kick everyone in the nuts! That's weak!
Schmitty: What do you want?
Patrick: I don't want anything, The Tool Shed Leprechaun service is wanting to see you. They seem really angry!
Schmitty: :D YAY! *Irish music plays*
*goes to Zanaris*
Schmitty: Wassup Baus mann?
Schmitty's Boss: You have done so horrible over the past 2000 years that we are.....
Schmitty: Please fire me. please fire me. please fire me...
Schmitty's boss: GIVING YOU A PROMOTION!!!!
Schmitty: GUTHIX ******* DAMMIT!!!! * bangs his head on the table*
Schmitty's boss: That's right, You get to oversee all of the farm equipment! are you
excited?
Schmitty: YEAH I'M REALLY ******* EXCITED!!!!!:@
*Back in RS*
Schmitty: I hate my life!
end of part 2
Got Pink? =)

06-Oct-2013 23:47:44 - Last edited on 10-Oct-2013 02:51:23 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

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Part 3

*Schmitty is kicking stuff around*
*kicks a marble statuette into Patrick's face*
Patrick: What the Hell was that for, Schmitty!
Schmitty: Sorry, To busy not giving a damn too care!
Patrick: *reads Schmitty's mind* your still piping mad for not losing your job...
Schmitty: Damn right, I want to see mountains, Patrick! Oi've had enough of this putrid, place to last 4000 years!
Patrick: And what are you going to do about that?
Schmitty: you'll see!
*at the Toolshed Leprechaun Service building thingy mabobber *
Guard: Hey if it aint Schmitty! how would you like to get some whiskey and scotch and beer?
Schmitty: Oi already have some! *gives some "beer" to the Guard** guard drinks it*
Guard: This tastes funny what's in it?
Schmitty: No this is just regular beer, although it is American made!
Guard: American made?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! You have brought Shame upon yourself! How could oi trus- *falls to the ground*
Schmitty: Did OI forget to mention that Oi slipped thousands of kilotons of METH into your beer?
Guard: *Sees pretty colors* *drools on himself then starts convulsing and moving
out of control* *has a huge heart attack* *dies*
Schmitty: muahahaha *goes up the stairs to his boss' quarters
Schmitty's boss: Are you here to check out your office?
Schmitty: *Says it Sarcastically* Oh Oi am TOTALLY here to see my new office space!
In fact Oi SOOO don't need these sheers anymore! Silly me! I am so NOT going to hurt you in any way, shape, or form!
Schmitty's boss: Whew! Oi thought oi was done for! * Schmitty cuts off his boss' arm with the sheers*
Schmitty's Boss: Hehehehe that tickles, Oi Have no feeling in me arms!
*Schmitty cuts off his boss's head*
Schmitty: That felt nice. Oi'm FREE!!!
End of Chapter 1: The Part Time Leprechaun
Got Pink? =)

08-Oct-2013 22:23:35

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Sorry I haven't posted, My entire extended family was here for my mother's wedding.

So here we go
____________________________________________________________________
Chapter 2: Blowback
*in Falidor castle*
Sir Amik Varze: Juntar, son, it has come to my attention that a rogue toolshed Leprechaun has murdered his boss.
Juntar : I will do what I can, Come, Scottie!
Scottie: DER... Ok boss man!
Juntar: *looks at Scottie* *sigh* Why do you have your trousers over your head...?
Scottie: DER That's how it goes, right boss?
Juntar: your hopeless... *takes a deep breath* YOU WILL NEVER BE A WHITE KNIGHT BECAUSE YOU ARE SO DUMB! I MEAN REALLY, YOU MAKE ME ASHAMED TO
EVEN- GAH!
Scottie: DER...I wants to be a white knight!
Amik: Calm down, son, Remember that Scottie took a savage blow to the head
Scottie: Der yeah that was fun! :) *goes cross-eyed*
Juntar: How was that fun?
Amik: ok just leave!
Juntar and Scottie: Yes sir
*In Zanaris*
Schmitty: Hey Patrick.
Patrick: Holy ****, what's with the blood?!
Schmitty: The boss and I had a great time playing volleyball.
Patrick: your boss doesn't play volleyball..
Schmitty: He didn't play volleyball. His head WAS the ball!
Patrick: Oh Guthix, Schmitty, You killed your boss?!
Schmitty: What's the big deal?
Patrick: What's the- What's the Big deal..? WHATS THE BIG DEAL!!!!?
YOU MURDERED YOUR BOSS!
Schmitty: It was worth it though.
Patrick: Well Since you've "quit" Your job, I will have to quit mine!
Schmitty: It is for the best...
Patrick: GAH your my twin brother, and yet you are the exact opposite of me!
You are SO IRRESPONSIBLE! I LOVED MY JOB, You are now royally ******!
Schmitty: I am out of here
Patrick: YOU ARE GOING NO WHERE, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF- *Schmitty kicks Patrick in the nuts*
Patrick: OW! *Falls to the ground*

End of part 2
Got Pink? =)

13-Oct-2013 23:40:34

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Part 2: Preparing for a Long Quest- Like Thingymabobbajiggertonburgerlathon


***mitty: *Lays out his sword*
Patrick: I see you've been preparing...
Schmitty: And I see you are still recovering from being kicked in the nuts.. yay, you!
:)
Patrick: You've kicked me in the nuts so many times over the past 3000 years, that
I've gone sterile... :(
Schmitty: *Gets out a violin*
Patrick: what's the violin for?
Schmitty: Well.... Since you are SUCH a whiny little twaut, I feel like playing a sad song for you as you tell the RS Story Forums such a horrible story... :)
Patrick: Gods you are mean.. Anyway, How'd you get this sword? And all this food?And all this money? And these awesome ranger's outfit?
Schmitty: Oh it its amazing how stupid R.S. noobs are. They will believe just about
every scam you can think of...
Patrick: That still does not answer my question...
Schmitty: I raided the Tool Shed Leprechaun Service weapon's armory after I killed my boss.
Patrick: Oh, Guthix, the guards are going to miss their weapons hehe :)
Schmitty: Don't worry about that, I have complete replica sets of everything I stole
*At the Armory*
Guards: HEY WHERE'S OUR ARMOR AND WEAPONS? *The "replicas" are rubber children's toys that look nothing like the weapons Schmitty stole*
*back to Schmitty*
Schmitty: We have nothing to worry about. I just need a very long vacation.
Patrick: Sooner or later we all need to return to reality...
Schmitty: That is not for me to worry about yet.
Patrick: *sigh* since you are insisting on this course of action, I have no choice but
to come with you.
Schmitty: Yes you do; and besides, the choice has been taken out of your hands!
Patrick: what do you mean?
Schmitty: look out the window.
*Patrick sees wave after wave of white knights*
*Grid appears on the Zanaris map*
Patrick:* Tries running away but he magically is unable to move past the 6th step to the right*
Patrick: Oh my Guthix this grid is annoying!
end of part 2
Got Pink? =)

26-Oct-2013 05:27:36 - Last edited on 26-Oct-2013 23:42:49 by Pinká4áTwink

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Somewhere in Runescape

Billy Dean: *speaks like a Alabaman redneck* Wheall wheal lerk wut we heve here, zammy Ah jerst foond serm peple to merdur
Zammy: Leyets kill them scum and take dere weapons an' shiiyet
*Billy Dean throws dynamite at the people* *kills 15 children*
Billy Dean: YEEEEEEEHAW! Did y' see thayat, Zam-mo-rake, Ah jerst killed 15 children!
Zammy: Ayand naow, deir payreants jerst shewed urp.
Billy Dean: Die you Black skin lovering pieces of shiyet *throws 18 sticks of dynamite*
*blows up the parents and the two redneck murderers loot the weapons*
Billy And Zamorak: YEEEEEEHAW!
Billy: HARHARHARHAR! Ah hayavent hayad dat merch fun in nearly 20 years, Zammy!
Zamorak: ert's a gerd lof we lead! Actualler, ahm Surprised dat da Gerd let me escape while I assumed the name Zamorak.
the Real Zamorak: Yeah And you two are really makin me mad, You two are unpredictable! Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you two right now!
Billy Dean: Weyre sorry Zammy, We wish Only to serve in spreading chaos ernd discerd throughayout the layand!
The Real Zamorak: *sigh* fine , I'll let you two live, IF you two can help me with a
simple task: Kill Schmitty the Toolshed Leprechaun before the White Knights do.
The Fake Zamorak And Billy Dean: Yeyeas Sir! Weyre Right on It- *gets tapped on the shoulder by a troll*
Billy Dean: yes?
Troll: Hi, Can I crush you and eat your limbs?
Billy Dean: no but der ers a berg of meat up dat hill.
Troll: Ok thank you! *goes up the hill and eats the bag of "meat"
*The "Meat" is more Fireworks* *Blows up
Troll's ghost: Oh Dammit: This sucks, Troll code of Conduct requires that I ask before I crush and eat someone. When I respawn in about 30 seconds, I'm going feral
Billy and the Fake Zamorak are teleported to Lumbridge
Billy and The Fake Zammy: YEEEHAW!
end of part 2
Got Pink? =)

10-Nov-2013 21:42:42 - Last edited on 10-Nov-2013 21:44:32 by Pinká4áTwink

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Meanwhile at the battlefield outside Schmitty's home

White knight general: Schmitty: lay down your weapons and surrender.
Schmitty: NO!
Narrator: Schmitty throws a butcher knife into the generals face mask, killing him.
Schmitty: Hey, I like this Narrator!
Narrator: HEY DON'T SAY ANYTHING NOT IN YOUR LINES!!
Schmitty: Or what
Narrator: We need to talk *teleports Schmitty to the land of Narratorlandia*
Narrator: See this guide, Schmitty?
Schmitty: yeah?
Narrator: it contains three basic rules: 1: Don't EVER forget your lines
2: never interrupt the Narrator. 3: NEVER eat soggy waffles.
*Teleports Schmitty back into the battlefield*
Patrick: Hey Schmitty: I Figured out the grid system!
*Walks to the fifth space*
*White knight goes up to Patrick and challenges him to a fight*
White Knight: Prepare to die!
Patrick: Are you sure you want to fight me? There is a black knight behind you.
White knight: What the...? GRRR... I will be back. *goes to fight the black knight
but the black knight kills him quickly*
White knight Vice General: These soggy waffles are delicious!
Narrator: RULE # 3!!!!!! *a volcano explodes from underneath the Vice General's feet*
*Vice General burns to death*
White knights: No! we are leaderless! *they all drop their weapons*
Schmitty: Ok what should I do with you people?
White Knight: Oh please don't kick me in the shin or steal all my farming equipment*
**. Schmitty!
Schmitty: hmmmmmm....
end of part 3
Got Pink? =)

04-Dec-2013 02:59:57

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Part 3

Schmitty: I know what I can do!
White knights: *Gulp*
Patrick: what?
Schmitty: You guys are going to join my army. If any of you oppose, I will take a huge sloppy **** in your next meal!
White knights: Ok, Ok don't hurt us!
Schmitty: That's what I thought...
White knight: um... My name is Sir William Shankspear, esquire
White knight: I am Patsy. I can deliver stuff. Even contraband! :3
White knight: Hi I'm Sir Frank N. Stein I'm the black guy who gets sacrificed in case things go wrong.
White knight: I am Sir Albert Fish, and Well I um fish I also slit peoples throats with fishing hooks :3
White Knight: Private Dj RJ Aj Backslash Fourth V! Sir
White knight: *Speaks in Morse code*
William Shankspere: That's Johnny, he only speaks in Morse code, he writes in Morse code, he thinks in Morse code, his heart beat is Morse code.
Schmitty: and you, would you tell us your name
White knight: Nah...
Schmitty: Please...
White knight: my name is actually Nah.
Patrick: Ok so what are we doing?
Schmitty: we are going to go to war with the Tool Shed Leprechaun Service.
Patrick: ohhh...
Meanwhile....
Sir Juntar Varze: Oh dammit we failed
Scottie: We Succedded :D *goes cross-eyed*
Juntar: No! I said WE FAILED!
Scottie: Yay we *Juntar strikes Scottie on the head with a hammer*
Scottie: Oh Thanks boss! I'M BACK!!!!
Juntar: Oh my guthix it actually worked
Scottie: MUAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA *gets crushed by a falling anvil*
Scottie: Der, Hey boss the sky is blue. did you know that?
Juntar: *screams as loud as he can*
Robin: Cheep cheep... Shut the tweet up!!
Juntar: make me!
Robin: I was hoping you would say that. *Starts chasing Juntar around with a chainsaw*
Juntar: Oh damn don't kill me!!!!
End of part 3
Schmitty: oh...
Got Pink? =)

09-Dec-2013 01:52:51 - Last edited on 10-Dec-2013 23:43:45 by Pinká4áTwink

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Christmas special:

Schmitty: Hey Patrick, I have an idea on how to get rich.
Patrick: OOOH do tell!
Schmitty: we write a Christmas carol..
Patrick: there are millions of Christmas carols...
Schmitty: not like the one I have in mind. I have something so raunchy, so vile, that people will pay us money for the laughs!
William Shankspear: What's this about a Christmas Carol I hear?
Schmitty: nothing tangible yet, I need someone to-
William Shankspear: Write it... Fear not For I am the greatest writer in the history of um stuff...
7 hours later
William: Here, Schmitty. I have it done
S**mitty: *Reads it*
Lyrics: Frosty the Pervert
In a trenchcoat he did go
to the school yard to expose his **** and balls made out of snow
Frosty the pervert
all the kids he liked to watch
his **** did grow when he packed snow on his cold and icy crotch.
There must have been some magic when he stroked his frozen meat.
cause Frosty started moaning loud and it began to sleet.
Frosty the ******* was as glad as he could get.
He put his golden pot pipe down and lit a cigarette
*Bridge*
Frosty the Perver*
didn't want to go to jail
he began to run while dripping *** and the cops picked up his trail.
down to the village
his **** melting in his hands
running here and there all around the square yelling "catch me if you can."
They chased him down the streets of town right to a vice squad cop
who shoved a nightstick up his ass
and frosty screamed " don't stop"
Frosty the Perver*
was locked up that very day
but he did not cry as he waved good by knowing he'd be back some day.
Running to the square giving cops demands
look at Frosty go.
rubbing his hands all over his glands
his *** is white as snow.
Schmitty: This is perfect. Such a god way to ruin a classic Christmas carol.
Now all we need to do is find someone to publish it.
Patrick: I know who can.
Got Pink? =)

12-Dec-2013 00:14:00 - Last edited on 29-May-2014 23:20:03 by Pinká4áTwink

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Schmitty: Who?
Patrick: Me. *Schmitty looks at Patrick*
Schmitty: how did you get the money to do such a thing?
Patrick: well unlike you, I've been doing stuff for the past 2000 years that did not require me to strong-arm people.
Schmitty: ooooooh.
Patrick: and I must say it is horrible and I will not publish it, for I have a heart *Patrick gives a super long speech lasting 7 weeks*
Patrick: *eats a goat leg* And it is for this reason that I disagree with the publishing of this garbage.
Schmitty and the other white knights: zzzzzzzzzzzzz
Patrick: ohh gods damn you people.
Schmitty: Are you done?
Patrick: yes.
Schmitty: All those in favor of publishing this say "Aye"
Schmitty: Aye.
William Shankspere: aye. I wrote the damn thing * winks at Patrick*
Sir Albert Fish: Aye. I support the ruining of a classic song
Dj Rj Aj backlash fourth the V: I support it
Patsy: Aye. it's just so beautiful.
Johnny: *speaks in Morse code*
William: He says he supports it.
Schmitty: You hear that Patrick! Majority vote always wins
Patrick: this is absolute lunacy have you been paying attention to what I've just said?
Schmitty: we fell asleep the second you started speaking.
Patrick: This is not over Schmitty!! *publishes the Christmas Carol*
Narrator: and so it was that the new Christmas Carol caught the attention off the world making the new song the Christmas carol of choice...
end of the Christmas special.
Got Pink? =)

12-Dec-2013 00:32:07

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Alternative ending of the Christmas special

*All the dialogue before "This isn't over, Schmitty!" is the same

Narrator: And so the horrible and disgusting Christmas carol became the Christmas carol of choice......... UNTIL Schmitty got sued for copyright infringement and lost 60 trillion gold pieces in Runescape civil court. It is rumored that Schmitty cried his balls off and fell into a deep depression, all the while going emo and slicing his wrists, while thinking of new ways to scam people. Schmitty was seen one week after losing all the money he earned for writing the Christmas carol doing meth and attempting to milk a chocolate chip waffle, drinking vodka, listening to death metal and whispering insane babble about his growing meth trade. Schmitty was then arrested by a guard and thrown into jail for soliciting drugs. gaining him the nickname "Schmitty the Drunken Dimwit"






possible end for the Christmas special
Got Pink? =)

17-Dec-2013 01:13:57 - Last edited on 18-Dec-2013 22:42:18 by Pinká4áTwink

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Chapter 3
An Unexpected Journey
S**mitty: Oh it is a wonderful day, ain't it, Patrick?
Patrick: Schmitty, why not return to Zanaris, you can still be treated with dignity.
Schmitty: Patrick, the reason why I will not return is because I took this beautiful gem from the boss man. I'm returning it to a client
Patrick: and your anger?
Schmitty: I'll get it treated eventually.
???: Did someone say they needed treatment? :D
Schmitty: maybe. who are_ *gets interrupted by the man*
???: Dr. Pedigree at your service I have a hospital just over there *points to the Forest of Doom*
Schmitty: You built the hospital in the Forest of Doom...?
Dr. Pedigree: yeah, some hermit crab hired me to research ways to cure zombie hermit crabs of their afflictions.
Schmitty: what is his name?
Dr. Pedigree: Pincho, I think, or was it Pinchy? maybe it was Pinchanetto. I can't remember.. *gets pinched by a hermit crab*
hermit crab: it's Pincho
Dr. Pedigree: thank you, anyway, my research is very delicate. countless notes have been assembled to document each case.
Schmitty: *gives a smile*
Patrick: excuse us for a sec
Dr. Pedigree: as you wish. *walks away*
Patrick: what's going on? you look like you have an idea. Whatever it is, it must be bad.
Schmity: academics are always looking for things to research, let's steal his notes.
William: an excellent idea!

Patrick: William, do you always take Schmitty's side?
William: *whispers* What choice do I have? He's a far better fighter than his dossier indicated. He'll kill me, or worse, he'll cut my balls off with garden shears- the rusted dull ones.
Patrick: we all have a choice..
William: yes and it is my choice to end this conversation.
Johnny: *speaks in morse code*
Albert Fish: He says that he feels sorry that you have to deal with a selfish, narcissistic, sociopathic brother
Patrick: he can change, I just know it.
Albert: we don't think so. Once a cheat always a cheat, remember that
Patrick:...
Got Pink? =)

07-Feb-2014 00:29:05 - Last edited on 07-Feb-2014 00:32:25 by Pinká4áTwink

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*5 hours later*

Schmitty: shhh.... be very, very quiet!
Patsy: *yells really loud * OK!!
Schmitty: *sigh* dammit...
Guard hermit crab: me hears something... *goes to investigate what he heard*
Schmitty: Oh balls he's coming this way!
Guard hermit crab: Come out , come out wherever you is! me no harm you, me just going to pinch you. *catches Schmitty's scent* hmmm *goes toward the bushes*
*Patsy throws a shell which catches the hermit crab's attention and he goes off to investigate it*
Guard hermit crab: OH MY GUTHIX A SHELL!!!! :D
Schmitty: thanks for the save, Patsy.
Patsy: oh don't mention it, though I must say, hermit crabs make absolute terrible guards.
Schmitty: yeah... they do..
*Schmitty sabotages the alarm bells with his garden shears*
Albert Fish: this is the most idiotic and shellfish plan I have ever heard of, no way is it going to work.
Schmitty: oh you're a glass half empty kind of man aren't ye
William: Oh don't worry about him, he's always cynical, always has been since his girlfriend left him. poor sod never forgave himself.
Albert Fish: Aye... and she always made the room smell like fish
*Patrick picks the lock of Doctor Pedigree's front door*
Schmitty: didn't you know that a thief never uses the front door?
Patrick: Didn't you know that I'm no thief?
Schmitty: fool!. you'll ruin everything
*Doctor Pedigree comes out looking for what ever woke him up*
Dr Pedigree: hello? who's there
S**mitty: *gestures all everyone to shut up*
Doctor Pedigree: *goes outside*
*Schmitty and gang run into the shadows*
Doctor Pedigree: must have been the wind...Although... I smell methane and pee.. someone is here I just know-
Doctor Pedigree's wife: Honey the ice has melted and my headache has returned.
Doctor Pedigree: *sigh* coming! *talks at nothing in particular* we'll see who wins this game of cat and mouse... we'll see... *closes door*
Schmitty: Holy hell that was close...
Got Pink? =)

29-May-2014 22:05:18 - Last edited on 29-May-2014 22:52:17 by Pinká4áTwink

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Character bio's continued:
William Shankspear: Besides the fact that he is a soldier, he is a brilliant writer. He was conscripted into the white knights two years prior to Schmitty's rampage across runescape. And ardently believes that helping Schmitty will give William a chance to kill or capture Schmitty. He likes Patrick, because Patrick is the more sensible of the leprechauns.

Albert Fish: Albert Fish, believe it or not was a real life person. In real life he was a serial killer and cannibal who forced himself on children in the early 20th century. In this story however, he is more peaceful. He loves fishing, and will look for any excuse to go fishing, he believes that Schmitty is not worth the time to try and kill, but he tags along for the moment.

Frank *. Stein: The name is obviously a pseudonym but for whom is anyone's guess.
Frank is black and given the time in RS history, he should have been born into slavery. Frank however is the son of a free man, he voluntarily joined the white knights but was placed with the misfits squad: the squad that had the worst soldiers in it. That included William Shankspear and Albert Fish. He actually likes Schmitty's bad boy persona and considers Schmitty a friend, even though, he is really Schmitty's prisoner.

Nah: She is a medic, and is very shy. She has no opinion of Schmitty, but absolutely has a major crush on both Schmitty and Patrick*

** RJ AJ Backslash 4th IV: his ridiculous name is the only thing that saves his life
Schmitty liked it so much that Schmitty decided to have him join as cannon fodder in his army: he hates Schmitty for this and is looking for an excuse to kill Schmity.

Johnny: He suffers from a distorted voicebox and as such can only communicate via morse code. Everyone understands him. He dosent like Schmitty, but He thinks the key to capturing Schmitty is to turn Patrick against him.

Patsy: He is a Scottish courier that delivers anything for a fee. He also carries the link to WK command
Got Pink? =)

29-May-2014 23:46:25 - Last edited on 29-May-2014 23:53:09 by Pinká4áTwink

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He's right, James, We don't think like that. We think like this: "The man I spend time with is someone that I love, and I would do anything to be with him. If he wants kids, that's fine, we'll adopt, or hire a surrogate mother to carry our child. And we shall love that child and raise him/her, to the best of our abilities, to love, live, and if he's straight, we won't force him to like guys. We'll let him be him or her be her.

Key word being "We", James. I myself am ***. Btw, I did not take offence to your comment, I think nothing of it. But I feel forced to respond to it now, so that I do not look like a bigot/ hypocrite.

Sorry to have suddenly thrusted you into this situation, though, James.
Got Pink? =)

29-May-2014 23:48:46 - Last edited on 30-May-2014 02:40:40 by Pinká4áTwink

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WE INTERUPT DIS GOD DAMN CHAPTA TA BRINZ YA DA NEWS IN OTHA PARTZ OV RUNESCAPE

Billy Dean: We-welcome and good day all you rednecks and psychopathic serial killers out there. Yer watching.... Uhhh... Becca, what's dis station called again?
Becca: It's Runescape and Redneck News, remember?! :@
Billy Dean: Right... Well, we gots dem stories fors ye! And yes, we took over a radio station :D! Our first story brings us to the Tree Gnome strong hold for some good old fashioned GNOOOOOOOME BAAAAAAL!!!! The Tree gnome Tree Huggers beat the Canifis Heart Rippers in Gnome Ball 976- 4 reigniting old tensions. In response to the loss, Weapon sales have gone up by 900% Canifis is Preparing fer war
redneck werewolf 1: WE SHALL CRUSH THEM TREE *******!! YEEEEEEHAWWW!
redneck werewolf 2: WE SHALL WIN THIS WAR!!!
redneck werewolf 1: HERKA DERKY DERRRRRR!!! *Drinks moonshine and passes out!
Becca: Someone get these morons out of here...
Asian Guard: *other guards are pushing him into the room with werewolves* NO DON'T MAKE ME GO OUT THERE; I HAVE A FAMILRY!!!!
Billy Dean: In Response to the da rising weapon sales, We gots a respone from Zamorak himself here is what he said. "It was absolutely embarrassing to see this loss from Canifis, usually the Heart Rippers crush them tree *******!" Said Zamorak who was obviously cheering for Canifis!
Becca: This is getting out of hand
Billy Dean: And we just received word that all our sponsors are leaving us... like... The Mosquito Breeders of Runescape, Burt's Ass Hole Cream, The Coalition for an Exterminated Gnomish Society, Keldagrim Dynamite, Fake Birth Control Pills, Broken Contraceptives, Exploded Fetuses, And Care Bears!
Becca: So signing off until we get new sponsors, I'm Becca,
Billy: I'm Billy Dean!
Guard: You are going to need a new guard, the werewolves have ripped the Asian to pieces
Billy: SHUT UP!!! We're signing off
Guard: grrrrrrrrr.
Got Pink? =)

21-Jun-2014 19:19:19 - Last edited on 21-Jun-2014 23:54:34 by Pinká4áTwink

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Yeah, I decided to share these scripts that I had compiled from my Multimedia class. They're actually really funny. I had three people with me and we made fun of the news in class, JD, Becca, and me. Anyways these should be fun reads. I will be posting them throughout the story. Got Pink? =)

22-Jun-2014 13:54:00

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Schmitty: *Whispers to Patrick* Patrick, we are trying this again.
Albert Fish: Again? Schmitty, there is a difference between persevering through tough sht and stubbornness.
Patrick: I feel so helpless here...
Schmitty: It will work, just watch, we're going to spike the good doctor's drink with this. *gets out a bag of knockoutshpiel*
Albert: knockoutshpiel, Schmitty? Nice!
Schmitty: yes, this will knock the good doctor out for days. It will also give him amnesia for a while, one of us has to sneak in there and give Pedigree the knockoutshpiel.
Frank: what about his wife, yo?
Patrick: she has an incapacitating headache to start with, we're good there.
*guard hermit crab comes back*
Guard hermit crab: *sniff sniff* grrrr... me smell leprechauns! come out come out wherever you is, me promise not to harm you, me just going to pinch you, and turn you into custody for a brand new shell pinchpinch. where is- *Schmitty grabs the hermit crab by the shell
Guard hermit crab: well, Hi there, can I pinch you? :)
Schmitty: no but I can kick you to the other side of the forest. :D
Guard hermit crab: Uh oh! no harmington! No pinchington!! No killington!!! :(
*schmitty kicks the hermit crab clear to the other side of the Forest*
guard hermit crab: Damn you, leprechaun I will find you and pinch you so hard!
Schmitty: well that takes care of him
Got Pink? =)

25-Jun-2014 00:14:29 - Last edited on 25-Jun-2014 13:11:57 by Pinká4áTwink

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part.... whatever, you get the idea

Guard hermit crab: *calls Pincho on his Shell Phone* Hola, Pincho
Pincho: Pinchatoshi! wassup, my crab?!
Pinchatoshi: This stupid motherpinching leprechaun kicked me to the other side of the Forest of Doom
Pincho: grrrr.... ok, me going to make a few calls pinchpinch
*Pincho calls a bumble bee hive*
The queen: Bumble thank bumble you bumble for bumble calling bumble the bumble hive, bumble this bumble is bumble the bumble queen, bumble you bumble want bumble somebody bumble stung??
Pincho: Yup! how did you guess
the queen: Bumble bee bumble intuition bumble bumble... bumble who bumble do bumble you bumble need bumble stung?
Pincho: hold on a sec, me call pinchatoshi.
*calls Pinchatoshi*
Pincho: what was the leprechaun's name?
Pinchatoshi: he smells like a Schmitty.
Pincho: ok.
*Calls the bees again*
Pincho: the Leprechauns name is Schmitty
the queen: ok, bumble bee needs to make a few calls
other bees: bumble hey, bumble you bumble forgot bumble to bumble say bumble "bumble* bumble before bumble every bumble word bumble in bumble the sentence.... grrrr
the queen: *sighs* *calls the wasp queen
wasp queen: you called da ****** wasps, foo, whatchu want, playa?
the bumble bee queen:bumble lets bumble sting bumble someone!
wasp queen: hellz yeah, we aint stung no one in forty days, the othea wasps are starting to get antsy, yas knowz whut om sayin, playa?
the bumble bee queen, bumble yes..
the wasp queen, I willz sens the other wasp queens a message about the hunt, as well as the Japanese giant hornets. we stingins a human?
the bumble bee queen: bumble close bumble a bumble leprechaun.
the wasp queen: evenz betta, yo.
*the wasp queen lets the other wasp queens know of the hunt* *65 wasp nests join in on the hunt* *the wasp queen calls the hornet queen*
the Japanese giant hornet queen: Well howdy dere, waspington queen!
Wasp queen: yous wants ta hunts, and stings a leprechaun, playa?
Got Pink? =)

04-Jul-2014 05:39:27

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the hornet queen, darn tootin'a! yes I does! yeehaw! *sniff sniff* hold on dere a second, I smells a human *leaves the hive and stings a human in the neck*
*human dies from the venom*
the Japanese giant hornet queen: yeehaw! dat felt great, I stung seven shades of **** outta him! I will call the other hornet nests in the area, and weel will sting that dickweed! *calls the other hornet nests* * 74 hornet nets join in on the hunt to sting Schmitty*
*back to Pincho*
*Pincho calls Mister Clark and Herman*
Pincho: hey you want to pinch a leprechaun
Herman: leprechaun, you say? oh oh boy, oh boy, me never pinched a leprechaun before!
Mister Clark: don't you have to take care of Jr?
Pincho: Jr is old enough to come, he is five, after all pinch pinch. besides, he needs to learn the proper method to pinching humans.
Mister Clark. Ok, me coming call Jad as well
*pincho calls jad*
*Rokk Tarr comes*
Pincho: Rokk Tarr, where's Jad?
Rokk Tarr: I no know! I just the delivery troll, oh by the way, special delivery for Pinch*
Pinchy: *gulp* *opens package* *magical seal breaks *gets crushed by falling wheels of cheese* *Sheogorath appears*
Sheogorath: Oh God, Dammit, I'm in the wrong game! but anyway! MADNESS FOR EVERYBODY! OH! um, Sheogorath, Deadric Prince of Madness, at your service. CHEEEEEEESE!!!!!!!!!! *rains more giant cheese wheels*
end of part whatever.
Pincho: no, don't end. we have'nt pinched anyone!
Narrator: sorry, no one gets pinched in this chapter
Pincho: :(
Got Pink? =)

04-Jul-2014 06:01:04 - Last edited on 04-Jul-2014 22:12:18 by Pinká4áTwink

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Part (Oh, God, I lost track)

Schmitty: GAH!!! What's with all the Guthix damn bees *75 angry wasps sting Schmitty in the balls* OWOWOWOWOWOW!!!
Bumble bees: BUMBLE FOR BUMBLE THE BUMBLE QUEEEEEEEN!!!!!!! *50 bumble bees Sting Schmitty in the neck*
Schmitty: Albert, Frank****, HELP?? Oh and how are you this calm?
DJ: No you can handle it, Schmitty. Go on, Use that bad boy persona that you are famous for...
Nah: I will only help you if you kiss me Schmitty...
Frank: we're calm because we have armor that protects us from bee stings.
Schmitty: Didn't your mom tell you that every once in a while, you get a bee that is much smarter than her bee siblings? *hornet stings Schmitty* Oh Guthix.. *passes out*
Bumble bee: hmmm Bumble bee bumble thinks bumble these bumble humans bumble use bumble armor..
other bumble bees: *an entire team of bumble bees bring out a jar of hydroflouric acid and dumps it on the white knight armor *armor dissolves*
Albert Dj, Frank, Johnny, And Patsy at the same time: Oh FML!!! :(
*Bees start stinging the white knights * *Nah hides in a stream*
Narrator: COWARD!!! Narrator brands the word "Coward" on her neck
*Frank passes out after 900 Bee sings Black* (must BEE because he is black. JK)
*Albert passes out after 40 bee stings* (such a whimp!)
* Johnny passes out before he is even stung* (It's just a Damn Flesh wound)
*Patsy gets stung in his brain* *dies*
Bees, Wasps and Hornets: Job's done *they all fly away*
Patrick: *comes out of the water with Nah*
Patrick: Nah, we're going to have to get some help!
Nah: We need Doctor Pedigree for this...
Patrick: actually here he comes right now!
Dr. Pedigree:*runs Holy hell! what did you guys do, disturb an entire bee nest?!
Patrick: Something like that...
Dr. Pedigree: Tell me...
Nah: the bees came out of nowhere after we kicked your guard hermit crab to the other side of the forest of doom
Dr. Pedigree: *Gives an ugly snarl and glares at Nah*
Got Pink? =)

12-Jul-2014 03:47:12 - Last edited on 13-Jul-2014 22:40:10 by Pinká4áTwink

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Dr. Pedigree: YOU LOT WERE THE ONES I HEARD SNEAKING ON MY LAWN LAST NIGHT!!
Nah: Please have mercy, sir, we did not wish to go foreward with Schmitty's plan!
Patrick: this can all be explained.. If you'd let us..
Doctor Pedigree: Oh! By ALL means! Please enlighten me!
Patrick: Schmitty had the idea to burgle your home and abscond with your research notes, He's that Leprechaun that you see knocked out.
Dr. Pedigree: Why On Runescape would you want my notes? To sell? My notes only detail my experiments on the zombie hermit crabs. They are worthless, Doctors do no harm, we do not place value on academia, furthermore, no one would buy them as there would be no use for the buyer. Even other doctors would not buy them, we collaborate, nothing more.
Patrick: please forgive us
Dr Pedigree: I don't allow my pride to deny others help. I hope you will understand later: Robbing the home of a scholar and healer... There is not much lower than that. You want to read my research notes? be my guest, you want help? you've got it.
Patrick: you mean it?
Dr. Pedigree: PROVIDED you do something for me afterwords.
Patrick: anything...
Dr. Pedigree: First let me help your friends *Doctor Pedigree picks up the five unconsious gang members by himself*
Patrick: What about Patsy?
Dr. Pedigree: it would be of no use to help him. he's... he's gone.
*Patrick and Nah start crying*
Dr. Pedigree: HIS DEATH IS ON YOUR HANDS!!!!! MAYBE YOU ALL SHOULD JOIN HIM!
Patrick: I think I'm going to be sick...
Dr. Pedigree: Nah, come here, I'm going to need help with the black man. he might not make it... the other nurses should be able to help the others
Nah: Of course.
Dr. Pedigree: Removing a stinger is easy, just pull it out. Apply this salve to the wound, It will ease the swelling *gives the salve to Nah* In this case, with 900 bee stingers inside himm he should be dead, *puts his hand on Frank's heart* but there is a heart beat still. it's faint, but it's there.
Got Pink? =)

13-Jul-2014 00:58:20

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Dr. Pedigree: the priority would be removing the Japanese giant hornet stingers, These hornets are one of the worlds deadliest insects one sting could kill an elephant.
*Nah puts her hand near the stinger, but Dr. Pedigree puts his hand on hers and stops her*
Dr Pedigree: You wont want to do that, the stinger is very brittle, you'd make it impossible to take out without cutting the stinger out. Use tweezers
Nah: *pulls out 17 hornet stingers*
* A nurse comes to Pedigree to tell him that Schmitty has awoken from his unconsious state*
Nurse: He's not happy with Patrick... Schmitty is barragging him with cuss words, threats of death, promises of revenge against Patrick, It's quite unpleasant. I'll inform Schmitty of Patsy's death.
*Nurse leaves to tell Schmitty of Patsy's death*
*Back to Schmitty*
Schmitty: He's dead?!!!!!!!
Nurse: unfortunately.
Schmitty: BAH PATHETIC!
Nurse: Have some respect for- *Patrick interupts her*
Patrick: Nurse, Schmitty doesn't even know what respect is. Nor does he know how to show it. Or patience, or humanity, or self control, or courage for that matter, he does what suits him and him only.
Nurse: Well he sounds charming... *nurse leaves*
Schmitty: I only want adventure and thrill.
Patrick: at what cost? Schmitty, Two people have already died because of your selfishness.
Schmitty: that's their fault, not mine, I've spent 4000 years doing nothing but help young children store their farming equipment, I deserve a break from it.
Patrick: Oh! that s so like you: It's always "me, me, me" or "I deserve this, and I want that, and "hey, that girl is having a good day, I want her happiness"
Schmitty: It's not just happiness I want. I want food that don't make me sick. I want, water that aint cholera infested, I want clothes that don't have ticks or mosquito eggs in them. I want a decent life.
Patrick: Everyone wants that, though, Schmitty, but such luxuries are only fit for kings and queens.
Got Pink? =)

13-Jul-2014 01:30:52 - Last edited on 13-Jul-2014 01:32:28 by Pinká4áTwink

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Schmitty: And are you in desire for such things, Patrick?
Patrick: Of course I am, It's just that I don't put every ounce of my being in acquiring wealth, furthermore, I don't take things by force, Remember when we were both teenagers and desired the same girl, Valencia
S**mitty: aye, a buxam lass with a nice ass. aye, We ended up liking each other.
Patrick: No, Schmitty. She liked me, but I wanted you to be happy for once, and let her know that you deserved her more than I. She loved me, I loved her, but we both agreed that you deserved YOUR moment of glory. and she went out with you, and quickly realized the mistake she made in choosing you, She left you not because she was "wanting a break from you" like she said. She realized how manipulative you were and left you so that she could be with me. She realized later that I reminded her too much of you, and she left me.
Schmitty: *starts crying* your saying that everything I knew about her was a lie?
Patrick: If you were to change your ways, you'd eventually find a woman who is attracted to you. The course you are taking will lead you to your ruin.
Schmitty: I had no idea... but I can't just go back, I'm a wanted murderer, furthermore, I want to finish this adventure.
Patrick: You juust want to live life, when life is thowing responsibility at you. You refuse to accept the fact that you are no longer a teenager, you had a respectable job, you left it, murdered your own boss, whom you were great friends with before he promoted you, in the process. You had friends, you had family, but you still do not know how to love or take responsibility.
Schmitty: leave me to my misery, Patrick
Patrick: fine, be that way... *turns around* I love you.
Schmitty: huh
Patrick: I love you, Schmitty
***mitty: I Lllll-gah!
Patrick: still can't say it, can you? *leaves*
Doctor Pedigree: it seems everyone- well... MOST of you are alive *stares at Patsy's corpse* Now in return, there is something I need from all of you.
Got Pink? =)

13-Jul-2014 02:00:49 - Last edited on 30-Jul-2014 00:33:32 by Pinká4áTwink

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Patrick: Anything
Nah: I have a feeling that we won't like this...
Dr. Pedigree: It's nothing dangerous... Well, except for the occasional zombie hermit crab, the man-eating veg*tation, the occasional random explosions, the ents, the eight hundred varieties of Hunger swarms, and the occasional demented madman with a machete. Anyway, my wife, Elenore is suffering from crippling headaches and is begging for death as we speak. There is a hotspring somewhere in the forest of doom that is said to have magical healing properties. I need several pails of this water, so I can whip up a cure for these headaches. Nah, Patrick. I have a different task for you two
Patrick: OHH! What do you need?
Dr, Pedigree: I need some assistants to test a few drugs on. The drugs are potential tested cures for the zombie hermit crab pinch, which rapidly turns anything into undead vermin. I'm testing to see the doseage for humans
Schmitty: And what's to stop us from running away?
Dr. Pedigree: Funny you should ask... ELENORE GO GET WILLIAM!
*Elenore pushes William Shankspear into the room*
*William Shankspear is strapped into a strangulation device*
Dr. Pedigree: Should you happen to run off, I will personally strangle Sir William Shankspere, desecrate his corpse, rip him to pieces and feast on his entrails
Johnny: *speaks in morse code*
Albert Fish: He says that is the most evil thing that he has ever heard a doctor say... He also thinks that you are going to need a bigger pot so that when you do turn to a cannibalistic diet, you will be able to use the entire carcass.
On a personal note, can I join in on the eating of Sir Shankspear?? I've always wanted to feast on human flesh! :3
William: *gulp*
end of chapter 3
Got Pink? =)

25-Jul-2014 00:34:34 - Last edited on 25-Jul-2014 00:35:59 by Pinká4áTwink

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A hunger is a giant man eating insect that relentlessly hunts its prey- be it human or otherwise. They will hunt their prey to the ends of the world, if need be, As such, EVERYTHING avoids them, even the zombie hermit crabs, who want to turn everything into undead vermin. Got Pink? =)

30-Jul-2014 00:40:22 - Last edited on 30-Jul-2014 02:00:42 by Pinká4áTwink

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Chapter 4: Into Damnation
*Dr Pedigree kicks out Schmitty, Frank, Johnny, Albert, Deejay, and slams his door*
Dr Pedigree: Have fun! OH and try not to die or anything Sir Shankspear will be quite unhappy should you die.
William: You, good doctor, are the most vile fetid cretin to ever "grace" tis land. I mean really, kidnapping me and strapping me to this device, and then pretending to feign ignorance over something so simple... Unstrap me this instant or I shall stab you with my quill and write a really nasty curse on you with your life's blood.
Dr. Pedigree: Oh dear...
William: Oh and the look on your wife's face will be quite satisfactory when I ravage your wife OVER, and OVER, and OVER, as I make you watch!!!
*Doctor pedigree knocks William out*
*Back to Schmitty:
Schmitty: *We need to save William*
Deejay: Oh so you Finally care about someone!? :D
Schmitty: No but Shankspear doesn't deserve to be eaten.
Deejay: *sigh*
Frank: Now what are we going to do? The Forest of Doom is quite large, we'll never find the hotsprings without a guide.
Schmitty: I'd assume that it's somewhere deep within the forest,
*Schmitty gets Pinched in the nuts very hard by Pinchatoshi*
Pinchatoshi: Ha! me told you that me would pinch you hard! pinchpinch
***mitty: Not cool! give me one reason why I shouldn't kick you to the other side again?
Pinchatoshi: Pinchatoshi knows what you're looking for. pinchpinch
Albert: you're kidding me. Schmitty, do we have to trust this moronic hermit crab?
Pinchato***: It's either that or you deal with Shellroy, and trust me, NO ONE wants to deal with Shellroy!
Schmitty: Sorry kicking you back to the other siiide... :)
Pinchatoshi: Pinchatoshi knows where to find it.
Schmitty: *sigh* What do you say guys?
Deejay: as long as he doesn't pinch us, I'm for it.
Albert: Did I ever tell you guys how much I hate hermit crabs... D: no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!!
Frank: Honestly, though Albert, I don't think we have a choice
Got Pink? =)

01-Aug-2014 05:34:48

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Part 1
Pinchatoshi: Stick close to Pinchatoshi. Pinchatoshi shows you all the shortcuts that he found. *starts running really fast*
Schmitty: Don't you get to far ahead of us!
Albert: How do we know that he is not leading us to a secluded area just so he can pinch us?
Schmitty: That would be just like a hermit crab, wouldn't it? I suppose we wait and find out.
Deejay:*looks in the distance* Guys?? We've got trouble! *points to a small team of elite White knights commanded by Scottie
*at Scottie's location*
Scottie: Der... Ok, boys! Sir Juntar has tasked us with kissing Schmitty
White Knight 1: Why did he have you command us?! D:
White knight 2: We're doomed!! *starts writing his last will and testament to his wife*
White knight 3: Yeah! let's kick some leprechaun ass!!*starts punching the rocks*
Female White knight: *Steps in muggy swamp water*It's so wet and damp in here!
White knight 3: That's what she said!
Female white knight: *Punches White Knight 3 in the face and breaks his jaw*
White knight 2: Kiss Schmitty, Scottie??
Scottie: Oopse I meant "kill Schmitty" Ok we wait for the archers to take positions
*Scottie's archers arrive in their spots-
Archer 1: Woah... Slippery... *trips over his shoe lace and falls off a tree branch and falls 7 feet to his death*
*Back at Scottie's position*
White knight 1: See, Scottie, I told you that tying a shoe is extremely important to military discipline, Particularly when you are an ACROBATIC ARCHER but do you listen? Noooo!
*Back at the Archers*
Archer 2 snaps a tree branch and falls. luckily for him the "tree" is an ent
ent: OW DID YOU JUST SNAP MY BRANCH!? You crazy dickweed *throws the archer into a boulder, spraying a glorious amount of blood!
Back at Scottie's position*
White knight 1: And you don't even bother trying to find out which branches are sturdier?
Archer 3: *disturbs a nest of Hungers*
Hunger queen: *Shrieks a terrible sound that shatters the Archer's weapon and armor* *eats him*
Got Pink? =)

02-Aug-2014 03:39:09

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*flies away*
*back at scottie's lacation
Scottie: What the heck was that?!
The other 700 Hungers fly out and start eating the white knights
Scottie: Ha! you wont get me *teleports back to Falidor*
Other white knights: He didn't even bother getting us teleportation spells? What a jerk! *hungers eat the all of Scottie's knights*
*hungers fly away*
Schmitty: *comes out of a hollowed out log* That was the worst assassination attempt ever.
Deejay: That would be Scottie's work. He can't do anything right. How he even became a commander is beyond me!
Schmitty: tell me about him.
Deejay: Scottie was once a decorated soldier, and a brilliant tactician. served nearly forty years as a general.
Schmitty: so how does he become this moronic?
Deejay: a few years back, Scottie took on a small force of black knights, by himself. most of them were nothing special and Scottie took them out easily. However, there was one- who appeared out of nowhere, that was much stronger than the ones that Scottie had slew. Scottie in his arrogance thought this encounter would be easy and struck first. His weapon did nothing. He tried stabbing, then slashing. He tried hacking, and smashing. He tried magic and archery. Nothing worked. Scottie spent hours attacking the "invincible" knight. The knight took out his war hammer, and clobbered poor Scottie over the skull so hard, that his brain was effectively rendered useless for thinking beyond the daily necessities.
Sir Amik Varze, rather than dismiss Scottie as general, let him stay, however, in his cruelty, Amik demoted him all the way back down to Private rank, and assigned him to his Son, Juntar Varze's command.
Schmitty: And the black knight?
Deejay: No one saw him again, Carved his way through an entire legion of white knights and disappeared somewhere between Ardougne and Brimhaven
S**mitty: how many did the Knight kill?
Deejay: 500 white knights died by his hand in one day alone
S**mitty: sounds too good to be true
Got Pink? =)

02-Aug-2014 03:45:07 - Last edited on 02-Aug-2014 04:14:20 by Pinká4áTwink

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Deejay: Oh don't worry, we'll probably meet Him some time in the future, these guys always pop up somewhere...
Pinchatoshi: *peeks outside his shell to see if the Hungers are gone!
Pinchatoshi: duegh heh.. me hate those things! come lets get going before the Hungers come back
end of Part 1
Got Pink? =)

02-Aug-2014 04:18:16

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Part 2
*at white knight castle in Falidor*
Amik: YOU FAILED IN KILLING SCHMITTY?????!!!
Scottie: Der Scottie sorry boss... Our brigade was eaten by Hungers * goes cross eyed
Amik: Scottie, you just doomed us all then, those insects will hunt their prey relentlessly. I give you ONE order. ONE!!! And all of a sudden I doom the entire order, because of YOUR stupidity You need to- Scottie tunes out of Amik's berating him and instead watches the clouds*
Amik: HEY! FOOL! PAY ATTENTION TO ME, DAMMIT
Scottie: Der... how I wish I could be amongst the clouds...
Amik: I tried helping you get over your GUTHIX DAMNED HEAD INJURY!!! AND YOU IGNORE ME WHILST I SPEAK?! Here's what I think about this- you're expelled from the Order
Scottie: please, boss I ask for one more chance...
Amik: that's Juntar's decision, not mine, you were assigned to him not me. Hey Juntar, Should we give Scottie another chance?
Juntar: no.
Amik: so there you have it, you've been expelled, good day, arrivederci, audios, toodle-loo, Get out of my face, * five white knights take Scottie to a giant cannon, tie his hands to his feet, loads him into the cannon, and fires the Scottie cannon ball out towards the Forest of Doom
Scottie: * in mid-air* Daaamn yooou, Juntaar!!!!!!! *hits a tree* *survives* lands right next to Schmitty*
Schmitty: Well look what we have here.... * kicks Scottie in the shin*
Deejay: Scottie? Holy damn, what happened to your armor?
Scottie: they stripped poor Scottie of his armor, expelled me from the order and launched me out of a cannon!:(
Deejay: hmmm. Schmitty, I see an opportunity here.
Schmitty: Let's here it.
Deejay: We take Scottie along with us, despite, his stupidity, he was well liked by his subordinates, we'll end up attracting many of his former soldiers along the way.
Schmitty: let's do it!
Deejay: ok * undoes Schmitty's pants*
Schmitty: What are you doing?
Deejay: what? I thought you meant you wanted me to give you head.
Schmitty: That's not what I meant!!!
end of part 2
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2014 01:16:17 - Last edited on 29-Aug-2014 16:41:26 by Pinká4áTwink

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*WE INTERUPT DIS CHAPTER FO A BRIEF NEWS FLASH*
Billy: I like this segment, right here, It be called 'Redecks Making a Difference'!
Becca: How can idiotic, uncivilized **** stains like you make ANY kind of difference in the world?
Billy: Oh PLENTY of ways! Like driving your carriage drunk only when there is NO Traffic
JD: speaking of beer, dat's what dis stery's about!
Billy: yerp, A little boy went into surgery last week at Runescapelandiaville Hospital. poor child was having heart issues, so they put him into heart surgery.
JD: Did they save him?
Billy: Sure did! he died the next day. it didn't the kid very good cuz the heart were fulls of beeeeeer. *burps because of how drunk he is*
JD: BEEEEEEEEER.......
Billy: BEEEEEEER!!!!!
Billy: HERKA DERKY JERRRRRR!!!
Becca: IF ANYTHING NO DIFFERENCE WAS MADE AT ALL!
Billy: Oh, I just made this story up. Quite da catcher eh?
Becca: YOU can't make up news stories!! * stomps out of the tower* I QUIT!!!
Billy: Don't worry she'll be back, In other news Dere are reports of Sentient tornaders out there in the Wilderness. Redneck News has just received images of tornados attacking Runescape players left and right *picture shown is a hand drawn tornado holding a shotgun in its hand* *caption says "Completely authentic"*
Billy: If you are in the area ( which we will not provide because we don't have enough money to include location) Then Stay in your trailers, do not attempt to fight a tornader, they absorb bullets and arrows like clothing absorbs detergent! instead use your protect from tornado prayers, summon steel titans to hold your trailers to the ground AND PRAY TO SARADOMIN THAT YOU ARE NOT KILLED! Back to you, JD
JD: This news report was brought to you by Star****s. Star****s, it will **** your stars, and, The Mosquito breeders of Runescape. The Mosquito breeders of Runscape, Spreading West Nile Virus, one country at a time. Dat's all my friends.
Got Pink? =)

31-Aug-2014 17:47:08 - Last edited on 07-Sep-2014 04:01:52 by Pinká4áTwink

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Part 4ish?

*at Dr. Pedigree's place*
Dr. Pedigree: HURRY THE **** UP, PATRICK!! YOU'VE GOT A ****TON OF WORK TO DO!!
Patrick: Easy, Dr. I'm on the toilet taking a dump.
Dr. Pedigree: You've got five seconds to get out before I kill Sir Shankspear!
Patrick: But I still have to wipe my -
Dr Pedigree: 1 2....4
Patrick : * runs out bottomless* I'm here
Dr. Pedigree: MARVELOUS! Now disrobe.
Patrick: You're not going to take pics are you?
Dr. Pedigree: I meant down to your underwear, you ********! Now, as I said, you are going to be test subjects for my experiment. Go to the room surrounded by glass
Patrick: um....
Dr. Pedigree: I can kill you and William, if you prefer...?
Patrick: no no, it's ok!
*goes into the room*
*Patrick is strapped to a restraining device*
Dr. Pedigree: Lets begin . Remember, The test Results will determine whether William survives the day. If you die, so too does William.
* Injects Patrick with a syringe*
Patrick turns into a cow*
Dr. pedigree : Oh dear.. that is most unfortunate. lets try... This ... *injects Patrick with another syringe* *Patrick turns into a dragon*
Dr. Pedigree: hmm..
*sixteen hours of injecting Patrick with Syringes later!
Dr. Pedigree: well that seems to have restored you, there is just one slight problem...
Patrick : yes?
Dr. Pedigree: you see, I didn't clean any of the syringes that I used, and one of my patients had aids. So guess what you now have?
Patrick: You *******!!!
End of part 4
Got Pink? =)

11-Sep-2014 05:23:55 - Last edited on 16-Sep-2014 02:04:31 by Pinká4áTwink

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Part 5
Patrick: What the hell kind of doctor doesn't clean their syringes?!
Dr. Pedigree: Calm down, Patrick...
Patrick: Calm d- CALM DOWN???!!! YOU INJECTED ME WITH HIV!!! AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BE CALM?!
Nah: Patrick: calm down... please... Let him speak...
Patrick: OH by all means, tell me how and why you failed to sterilize the syringes...
Dr. Pedigree: it was just bad luck...
Patrick: BAD LUCK??? I'M ****** IRISH, MATE!!! I HAVE ALL THE LUCK IN THE WORLD! surely you can create a better lie than that...
Dr. Pedigree: I have no excuses.. fortunately, HIV is much less of a death sentence than it was 30 years ago. We are able to treat it now. Feel free to take the pills on the desk. Now let's get back to work..
Patrick: *gulp*
Dr. Pedigree: It's nothing to do with actual testing... Just water my roses. I plan on Giving Elenore a rose for our fiftieth aniversery!
Patrick: Yes sir *goes outside and sees thirty vampire hermit crabs at the door
Vampire hermit crab: BLOOOOOOD!!!!! heh and shells... :D
Patrick: Oh no... Doctor!
Doctor Pedigree: yeah?
Patrick: We have thirty vampire hermit crabs here...
Dr. Pedigree: They wont harm you, just throw a vial of blood at them!
*Patrick draws up his own blood into a syringe and throws it at the vampires*
Vampire hermit crabs: BLOOD! :D *runs toward the syringe of blood and sinks his fangs into the syringe* *starts sucking out the blood*
28 Vampire hermit crabs: Thanks for the blood! * the 28 vampire hermit crabs catch the common cold and die*
Vampire hermit crabs: brother hermit crab! No! :(
end of part 5
Patrick: this gives me an idea...
Got Pink? =)

19-Sep-2014 20:07:37 - Last edited on 19-Sep-2014 20:07:57 by Pinká4áTwink

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Part 6
*in the forest of doom*
Pinchatoshi: And here we are! at the hotsprings
Schmity: got to hand it to you crabs, you are pretty good with sense of direction...
Pinchatoshi: what do you mean?
Schmitty: maybe it's the plant life... it all looks the same: dead plant matter, muggy swamplands...
Zombie hermit crab: Brains?
Schmitty: And to top it all off it feels like we're going in circles.
Pinchatoshi: yeah, that is a problem...
Zombie hermit crab: BRAINS!
Pinchatoshi: Go away you mindless zombie hermit crab
Zombie hermit crab: Not until you give me your brain, Pinchatoshi!
Pinchatoshi: No! my brain! me find it first!
Zombie hermit crab: *Schmitty picks up the zombie hermit crab and kicks it to the other side of the Forest of Doom*
Schmitty: well that takes care of that, now we need to be sure that the water is magically imbued...
*takes out a dagger and slices his middle finger* *sticks his finger into water*
*black knight appears*
Schmitty: um who are you?
The Black Knight: Just a black knight... but you... You're a defiler... an intruder.. you defile this sacred hot spring with your very presence... What do I make of this, hmm? A leprechaun, a white knight, a bumbling idiot.... And a hermit crab???
Pinchatoshi: Gah... you're quite scary
The Black Knight: In fact.... the bumbling moron... he looks quite familiar. *Walks closer to Scottie* yes.. it's all coming back to me. You are the knight who slew my companions and thought that I'd be no different.. Such hubris, as is often the case with white knight fools.
Scottie: der.. don't kill me...
The Black Knight: Oh.. I won't kill you... not yet. You are free to go.. for now, but the next time we meet... we meet as enemies, defiler
S**mitty: I won't be talked to like that! *throws a grenade at the Black Knight*
*Grenade explodes* *does no damage*
The Black Knight: Such a temper! :D this is good. I sense a certain... Ambition in you. I'll leave you with these words: The good Doctor cannot be trusted
Got Pink? =)

21-Sep-2014 21:31:38

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Schmitty: What do you mean?
The Black Knight: I think you know
*Back at the hospital* *In Dr. Pedigree's chamber*
Dr. Pedigree: I don't know, Elanore. I feel like I am being too polite, too friendly... It makes me sick!
Elanore: It makes me sick, too. You are helping these scumbags, as if they did nothing to hurt you! Perhaps you should kill them
Dr. Pedigree: Truth is that, I cannot stand the HIV ridden filth and the ugly ***** he has with her, I hate that foul tempered Leprechaun, and the black skinned sycophant, the guy with an outrageous name, and the poet/ clown that we have strapped into a chair. And I'm pretty sure I'd have hated that courier. And the annoying guy obsessed with fish. Perhaps they should die...
Elanore: SHH! I hear someone at the door *Dr. Pedigree puts his bathrobe on and opens the door *It's Patrick*
Dr. Pedigree: Patrick! :D Are you done watering the plants?
Patrick: yep. You want to see the* Dr. Pedigree knocks Patrick out with a rusty pipe* *ties Patrick to a pole*
*Dr. Pedigree also knocks out Nah* *strips off her clothes and ravages her* Punches her in the face*
*Ties her up next to Patrick*
*Dr. Pedigree signals a guard*
Dr. Pedigree: As soon as the others get back, knock them out and tie them up.
Guard: yes sir
Dr. Pedigree: and so the cat captures the mouse...
end of part 6
Got Pink? =)

21-Sep-2014 21:54:08

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Part 7 Somewhere in the Forest of Doom
Sc*mitty: Hey guys, guess what?
Deejay: Let me guess: you're an idiot?
Schmitty: Not even. I have donuts. A gift, as a way of apologizing for getting Patsy killed.
Deejay: Really?! :D
Schmitty: Yep *devours all the donuts and gives the box to Deejay*
Deejay: Guthix dammit, Schmitty!
Pinchatoshi: those poor donuts. They no deserve to be eaten by you!
Schmitty: As a way for apologizing for that, I am giving each of you, save Pinchatoshi, a celebratory kick in the nuts *kicks Deejay in the nuts so hard that he hurls one of his testies*
*Schmitty kicks Albert Fish in the nuts so hard that it raises Albert's voice by six octaves, so that Albert sounds like the main singer of The Four Seasons*
Albert: What the hell, Schm-! *Gets interrupted by Schmitty's laughter*
Albert: What the? Oh Guthix! My Voice, my beautiful voice! I hate you, Schmitty!
*Schmitty finishes his round of fun*
*2 hours later*
*Arrives at the hospital
*Guards knock out Schmitty, Albert Fish, Scottie, and Deejay with a brick.* *Guard launches Pinchatoshi out of a mortar* Pinchatoshi lands in Pinchville*
*three hours later*
*Everyone wakes up to find themselves strapped to chairs*
Schmitty: Where's Albert?
Dr. Pedigee: Thanks for bringing me back the water, you shartsickles! Elanore is VERY pleased that you got it for her.
Schmitty: so why knock us out?
Dr. Pedigree: what? Did you think I would actually live up to my end of the bargain? You upheld yours. I won't uphold mine. Now you get to watch as I kill Sir William Shankspear! *Strangles William, Starts carving holes into William's chest, desecrates the corpse, And starts ripping out the organs* Albert, Would you like to join in the feast?
Albert: :D HELL YEAH
*45 minutes later
*Albert and Doctor Pedigree are eating William Shankspear's remains.
Albert: M-m-m-mmmore tea?
Schmitty: So where does that leave us?
Dr. Pedigree: Well funny you should ask. Because the White Knights are coming to arrest all of you.
Got Pink? =)

11-Oct-2014 23:21:44 - Last edited on 12-Oct-2014 19:52:00 by Pinká4áTwink

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Schmitty: Are you serious?
Dr. Pedigree: Do you think I would lie to you?
Schmitty: Well considering how you cold-heartedly betrayed us-
Dr. Pedigree: SILENCE!!! Not another word from any of you! Just sit back and relax.. the White Knights will be here any minute.
Patrick: How can anyone relax whilst stripped of all clothing and chained to a wall?
Dr. Pedigree: Silence, fool, did I give permission to speak?
*Three White Knights arrive*
White Knight: is this all of them?
Doctor Pedigree: yes. Give them what for!
White Knight: All in due time. *Walks up to Schmitty* Tell me, Leprechaun, Have... you ever spent time in a Falidorian prison?
Schmitty: No.
White Knights: Oh joy... I'm sure all of the other inmates would love to... get to know you better. Yep you are being transferred, all of you, to the Jizzery Compound,
Albert: Well, I for one, am going to enjoy prison.
Schmitty: Albert, you are disgusting!
Patrick: I doubt anyone will want to "get to know" someone with AIDS
Schmitty: You have WHAT, Patrick?!
White knight: I hope you like the taste of prison food... and *****
Nah: Oh no...
end of part 7 and chapter 3
Got Pink? =)

12-Oct-2014 20:24:05 - Last edited on 13-Oct-2014 21:40:53 by Pinká4áTwink

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*Part 1
*White Knights throw Schmitty and his friends into different Prison Cells
Patrick: Hey, Schmitty!
Schmitty: Yeah?
Patrick: You're an ass hole.
Schmitty: I didn't do anything.
Deejay: Uh YEAH! Let me count all the WONDEROUS things we did while under your authority: Attempted Theft, Murder, Embesslement, Accessory to Murder, Assualt. And Lollygagging. Hell, Pedigree even pinned the Cannibalism charges on us. They're taking Albert to Death Row tomorrow because of it.
White Knight: SHUT THE **** UP, WORMS!
Nah: This is not how I imagined dying! And that's rude
Deejay: You do not think about what your actions do to those around you. You ignore the consequences of everything you do. As long as I'm doing the killing, It aint murder, right?
Schmitty: And your point?
Deejay: My point is that You should start being more mindful of your actions and the consequencces they cause and have caused. Take a long look at this brief stint of freedom and think "what good have I done?" Only then will you change.
Patrick: Poor William, though.
Deejay: I still don't get why Pedigree even killed him in such a brutal fashion.
Schmitty: At least, Pedigree let us say our goodbyes to both Patsy and William before we were hauled here.
Nah: I don't get that either, Why did he get us arrested, and then let us give Patsy and William make-shift funerals?
Frank: Could be that he has a far more agreeable side to him?
Schmitty: Or he could be insane
Patrick: Well, Schmitty. What a WONDERFUL observation? How long did it take you to figure that out?
*Scottie wakes up*
Scottie: Ohh, My aching head! Could you guys quit the bantering, It is giving me a headache.
Frank: Scottie! You, um, sound different I think you.. um
Scottie: You think I.. did what? Become a male escort? Knitted a doylee
Frank: Got smarter. Did that blow give you back your brain function?
Scottie: I can't remember. I only remember a hard brick hitting me in the skull.
Deejay: He's back!
end of part 1
Got Pink? =)

13-Oct-2014 22:26:11

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Part 2
Schmitty: We've got to get out of here
Random Prisoner: *Scoffs* good luck with that. You are in Falidor's most heavily guarded military prison.
Another Prisoner: trust us, we've tried escaping. They've got us locked up tighter than a miser's purse in here.
Schmitty: So, are you going to help me or not.
Prisoner: *yawn* nope! my daily nap comes first!
???: Don't be so glum, Schmitty, prison isn't so bad.
Schmitty: and that's coming from a woman. Wait... Valencia?
Valencia: nice to see you again Schmitty. I am so very overjoyed.
Schmitty: what are you doing here?
Valencia: Sitting around. anything else?
Schmitty: No, I mean what are you in for?
Valencia: well life outside of the Toolshed Leprechaun Service employment roster is quite bleak for those of us who leave that slavery institution. I became an escort to make ends meat.
Schmitty: That's terrible!
Valencia: I've been locked in this cell for forty years for trying to live life the only way an escaped leprechaun can.
Schmitty: Did you not see opportunity to make the most of your life?
Valencia: Opportunism is a double edged sword, Schmitty. You can advance your own life, but think about who it'll affect. The world needs men of vision. People who endeavor to solve problems instead of create them. people who care more about other people, instead of themselves. The world has too many profiteers, scoundrels, charlatans, and knaves.
Schmitty: Among other things, I'm sure. enough. Are you going to help me escape or not?
Valencia: No, but I know someone who can. Have you heard of Grigor the Quack?
Schmitty: why is he called the "Quack."
Valencia: , you should ask him about it, anyway, when they let you out of your cell, make your way to him , he usually sits around. doesn't wear the prison jumpsuit he wears brown shirt and floral designed pants. Give him these documents, they are Favors that he owes me
S**mitty: thank you, but why help?
Valencia: It gets you out of my face. good luck!
end of par
Got Pink? =)

20-Oct-2014 05:20:41 - Last edited on 20-Oct-2014 21:46:14 by Pinká4áTwink

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*Part 3*
White Knight Guard: OKAY, SCUMBAGS, OUTTA YER CELLS!!! *Everyone's cell opens*
*Schmitty walks out of his cell and runs into a White Knight*
White Knight: What's the deal? You looking for a husband, Leprechaun?
Schmitty: No, I'll just get out of your way...
*Walks down a set of stairs into the cafeteria*
*Schmitty get's his food and sits down next to a guy in floral designed pants*
Schmitty: Are you Grigor?
Grigor: Maybe...
Schmitty: I need your help, WE. need your help
Grigor: With what? knitting a sweater? Washing dishes?
Schmitty: *Whispers* my friends and I need to get out of here.
Grigor: And... Grigor must help you? Grigor needs details, greenie!
Schmity: Can you help five individuals escape? Please don't call me "greenie" That's racist against lepeh****. I also have documents for you of the numerous "favors" you owe Valencia.
Grigor: Greenie has docuements? That's cute. Grigor has documents that prove he is queen of Varrock.
Schmitty: Aren't queens usually female?
Grigor: Don't question royalty!
Schmitty: can you or can you not?
Grigor: fine. I can help. But first..... we must play I Spy!!!
Schmitty: No! Schmitty no play I Spy!
Grigor: No play, no deal!
Schmitty: fine...
Grigor: Grigor spies with my little eye... something gold and shiny.
Schmitty: GOLD?!! SHINY!!!? :D
Grigor: yes. What does Grigor see?
Schmitty: Hmmm... *looks around* *sees a guad with a shiny gold key* a key?
Grigor: Yes, that is your way out. That particular key opens all the cell door. However the guard captain carrying it is almost never is this part of the prison.
Schmitty: What else?
Grigor: It's your turn...
Schmitty: *looks around* *sees a fight in progress*
Schmitty: I spy with my little eye something out of the ordinary
Grigor: Easy, you see a fight.
Schmitty: That quick!
Grigor: Grigor a master at this game. Those fools are going to get thrown into solitary confinement.
Got Pink? =)

20-Oct-2014 21:42:21 - Last edited on 03-Nov-2014 20:12:08 by Pinká4áTwink

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Schmitty: And why is that information important?
Grigor: You need to pick a fight.
Schmitty: Pick a fight?
Grigor: It will get you thrown into solitary confinement; and that's where the guard captain with the key will be.
Schmitty: And when he realizes that his key is gone?
Grigor: He won't, Grigor sends his best thugs to kill him.
Schmitty: So I got to beat up some people...
Grigor: Make it bloody and brutal, rip out their entrails if you must. One punch will only entertain the guards!
Schmitty: You are talking to the right guy! *Shows Grigor his gardening shears*
Grigor: Brilliant! Oh and one more thing: Word has it that you are looking for your friend, Albert.
Schmitty: And if I am?
Grigor: *A duck flies on Grigor's shoulder and quacks in his ear* My duck senses are telling me that he is in Solitary confinement, apparently, he ripped off a guards arm and cooked and ate it.
Schmitty: And the guard didnt just kill him?
Grigor: Albert also ate the guard's weapon. So the guard decided to put him in solitary confinement.
Schmitty: And How will I get him out?
Grigor: Grigor has some contacts on the outsi-
Guards: OK SCUMBAGS! BACK IN YOUR CELLS!
Grigor: Come find me tomorrow, same spot.
Schmitty: Fine
*8 hours later*
*Schmitty is trimming his beard*
Schmitty: *turns to look at Patrick* Patrick!
Patrick: yes?
Schmitty: How was your day?
Patrick: I'm starting to feel lucky. Because of my AIDS, No one has tried to force themselves on me yet.
Nah: That's better than what happened to me! I got forced upon 723 times today alone! And one of them was a guard! What the hell kind of prison is this?!
Schmitty: You've been counting?
Nah: Nahthing to do. I hate being the only woman in a man's prison!
Patrick: Yeah, that's sure to be bad..
Deejay: Ok, let me tell you what happened to me. I was forced upon by six female guards, the women are just as bad as the men. Damn you, Schmitty!
Patrick: What was that saying? Oh yeah: Power corrupts & absolute power absolutely corrupts.
Got Pink? =)

03-Nov-2014 20:42:20

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Frank: Well, Let me tell you what these nymphomaniacs did to me. I was forced upon by a 16 year old White child.
Schmitty: that doesnt seem that bad.
Frank: he's also my cellmate
S**mitty: That's just wrong. Wait so when did this happen?
Frank: late at night, last night.
Schmitty: I've got to say that I've been forced upon just on the way up to my cell about 8 hours ago. By a 16 year old white kid. What did he look like?
Frank: he had long black dredlocks and a really bad looking beard
S**mitty: that's the guy that forced himself on me, This is crazy!
Patrick: I'm so glad that this hasn't happened to me... *gets forced upon by a goblin that fell out of the air duct*
Patrick: Oh come on! Schmitty! This is SO your fault!
Schmitty: yes yes. I'm sorry that you all were ***** by horrible horrible people yadda yadda yadda.
Patrick: yeah? And your* the worst of these whorable people
end of part 3
Got Pink? =)

03-Nov-2014 20:58:43 - Last edited on 05-Nov-2014 19:01:58 by Pinká4áTwink

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*Lunch. Next day*
Schmitty: So, Grigor, Why exactly do they call you a "quack"
Grigor: Well you saw that I talk to ducks, But that's not how I got the nickname.
Schmitty: how did you get it?
Grigor: About twelve years ago, there was an attack on Varock, Grigor was out fishing, when he saw dust clouds off to the west. A whole horde of Barbarians, so, Grigor's best friend was there. he ran off to tell the Captain of the guard, I decided to face them down and buy him time, so I put up a magical barrier around the exit from the west side of the city, This would force them to go around and attack the front, alternatively, they could have attacked from the Wilderness entrance, Instead they tried to break the barrier by attacking me. Grigor did not appreciate that so heyelled out a terrible scream and the barbarians were turned into ducks the guards were confused. none of them said anything for a minute. "That kid just turned an invading army into ducks" said one guard "Yep, He's a quack" said another "A quack?" said another guard "Think of it, that scream sounded like the quack of a duck" "Oh.. now I get it" And from that moment on, they started calling me "Grigor The Quack.
Schmitty: That's utterly ridiculous!
Grigor: but true, nonetheless. So tell me, Schmitty, do you have any nicknames?
Schmitty: They called me "Schitty Schmitty" about 8000- 9000 years ago, when I was still in school, on account of my poor manners.
Grigor: you're that old?
Schmitty: Leprechauns live incredibly long lives, the oldest is Godfrey Dinglemur*hey, and he's 234,000 years old, in human years, In human years, he's only about seventy-two.
Gigor: so You're immortal? No one lives that long!
Schmitty: it's becoming less common, the longer we spend near humans, the shorter our lives get. We... quicken in the presence of lesser lived species.
Grigor: Is that Why Zanarris is so secret?
Schmitty: one of them
Got Pink? =)

26-Nov-2014 04:14:57 - Last edited on 26-Nov-2014 04:54:27 by Pinká4áTwink

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And we're not immortal, a blade through the chest would kill me, like it would anyone else.
Grigor: So why leave, your city?
Schmitty: I murdered my boss. There is only one company that Leprechauns are allowed to work for: the Toolshed Leprechaun Service, we work for our entire lives. That's an incredibly long time. few of us ever had choice in the matter. We're given the the Service upon birth, and the pay is crappy.
Grigor: that's terrible!
Schmitty: it actually gets worse: since the pay is so crappy, many of us take side jobs on the surface of Gielenor. in Addition to being a TLS slave, I was a con artist. An arms dealer, a drug runner, And a contract killer.
Grigor: wow, so do all Leprechauns get mixed up in that crap.
Schmitty: It is impossible to characterize an entire species based what one of that species does. My brother ran a trinket shop in Port Sarim on his off hours. I know another leprechaun, Kliara, who worked as a bartender at a pub in Port Sarim. Sometimes things would go missing. Beer glasses, Aged wine, her boss's jewelry, erotic literature, you name it, she stole it. Thing is, wherever a leprechaun goes, things go missing. I stole a famous painting from the Museum in Varrock, sold it on the black market; And just like that, I'm rich. So what did you do to be locked up?
Grigor: I joined the military at age 16, I faked my records. Saw combat, hated it, I used a bow, I became a prime target for archers, when I did fire a bow.
Schmitty: "when I did fire a bow?" what does that mean?
Grigor: I was a coward. I almost never used my weapon, my squad got killed because of it. I pulled out, when the battle was still raging near Falidor, intact, minus a few wounds in the arm from arrows. I fled north to Taverly with a third of our troops, our military had terrible discipline.
Schmitty: and they found you?
Grigor: no, I heard that we lost the battle, and convinced the rest of the deserters to turn themselves in. I was among them. I felt terrible
Got Pink? =)

26-Nov-2014 04:42:39

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Schmitty: Wouldn't you be on death row, then?
Grigor: Had Grigor not turned himself in, he would be. The General arrested me, court- marshaled me. I was found guilty of desertion, but the general was surprised at my willingness to turn myself in. I was given life in prison, instead, my parole comes up next year.
Schmitty: why turn yourself in?
Grigor: because I felt bad for losing the battle. I suspect, however, that the general is going to keep Grigor here for a long time. probably convinced the other generals to keep me imprisoned for life.
Schmitty: why not come with us?
Grigor: you'd let me do that?
Schmitty: anything is better than this place.
Grigor: right then. So in order to get Albert out of jail, there is one more thing to do.
Schmitty: what?
Grigor: you cant just fight today, you need to get each and every one of your friends to join the fight.
Schmitty: Right cause then we will all be thrown into solitary confinement.
Grigor: after you are in Solitary confinement, there is a good chance your garden sheers will be confiscated. one of my men will sneak a shiv into your cell, from there, you can raid the armory of weapons, and armor. If you are lucky, you'll find Albert there.
Grigor: be stealthy: A shiv cannot puncture armor, it is only useful as a lockpick
S**mitty: sounds good.
Grigor: I think it's time to get back to our cells.
end of part 4
Got Pink? =)

26-Nov-2014 04:52:06 - Last edited on 28-Nov-2014 23:26:14 by Pinká4áTwink

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*later that night*
Schmitty: *looks over in Patrick's cell*
Schmitty: psssst! Patrick!
Patrick: Schmitty, let me sleep!
Schmitty: It's important!
Patrick: oh, ok! um I hope you don't mind me without clothing on, I'm trying to get all the come stains out of my jumpsuit.
Schmitty: I won't look.
Patrick: fair enough. Now what's on your mind?
Schmitty: I've found a way for all of us to escape.
Patrick: you want to escape?!
Schmitty: I actually like it here, despite being ***** every day. I'm doing this for Albert. They're going to execute him tomorrow!
Patrick: well this is a pleasant surprise. You're actually thinking about something else besides yourself! I'm very impressed. What do we need to do?
Schmitty: Talk to Grigor about it, tomorrow at lunch. just follow me
goblin that forced himself on Patrick: I heard that, I'm telling the guards about your plan!
Patrick: Excuse me for a sec.
Patrick Goblin, I hear that guard over there has a nice loaf of rotten bread
Goblin: Rotten Bread? :D
Patrick: yes, rotten bread, and it will only appear once you go for the guard's weapon
Goblin: :D wait, . How will goblin know you are telling the truth?
Patrick: I shall recite Bandos's most holy prayer as a show of friendship: *ahem* Bandos,
our lord and savior, Grant this wayward son the peace he wants,
You gave him rotten bread and said
"my bread is yours, my life is yours.
you gave him terrible wine
and rusty swords so that he could do the least amount of damage in combat as possible.
you gave this goblin filthy clothing when he had clean clothing, cuz you hate his ******* guts!
you gave him herpes for the good of All of goblin kind!
Grant him the power to hit his enemy very hard
and for him to beat the life out of his enemy!
And when he dies, grant him the glory of Thatplacewheregoblinsliveaftertheydiesothattheycanfightthingsforeverandeverandever
Amen!
Goblin: yeah, I'm pumped! WHOO!
Patrick: Go get 'im!!
Goblin: WHOO *opens cell door*
Moderator"X": OH HELLZ NO!
Got Pink? =)

06-Dec-2014 07:35:48 - Last edited on 23-Jan-2015 22:25:10 by Pinká4áTwink

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Moderator "X": * Goblin Tries to unsheath The Moderator's machine crossbow/
*Moderator "X" flicks the Goblin and Get's a 1 hit KO*
Patrick: Ha! What a stupid Goblin
Moderator "X": By the way, I am here to remind you that no one escapes this prison. As a reminder, I have siezed Grigor The Quack *holds up someone who looks exactly like Grigor* Poison words create poison deeds, so I have no choice *nails him to the wall and shoots him 75 times*
Schmitty: NOOO! Dammit *Gets tapped on his shoulder* who *turns around* *It's Albert Fish. Standing behind Albert is Johnny*
Albert: Albert just wants you to know that albert is here. here. Albert gives you a saw to grind away at the bars
Schmitty: How'd you escape?
Johnny: *Talks in Morse Code*
Albert: Johnny says that the guards were scared to come near Albert's cell. Albert keeps ripping people apart and eating them, It's quite delicious, This one thinks you should try human flesh. it's absolutely delicious.
Schmitty: no that sounds disgusting... And whats with your mannerisms
*Johnny speaks in Morse code*
Scottie: no.. tell me that isn't true.
Schmitty: What is it?
Scottie: Johnny says that Albert contracted syphilis. In it's final stages syphilis drives people completely insane.
Albert: This one can still function, this one brings you each saws so that you can
Moderator "X": I'm still here, you know. As warden I hereby call a lockdown Guards! Arrest that cannibal!
Guard: I'm not going anywhere near Albert Fish!
Guard2: he's scary, I want my blankie!
Guard3: I want to keep my body together, sir
Guard4: I'll get him four you *has a heart attack and dies*
Guard5: NOO HE WAS OUR LAST BEST HOPE!
Guard 6: no.. there is another.... and it is not I
Moderator "X" Oh for the love of Jagex arrest him already!
Guards1-7: NO!
Moderator X: Ok carry on, *looks at Schmitty* This isn't over!
Got Pink? =)

12-Feb-2015 23:39:59

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*Moderator "X" teleports himself back to his quarters*
Schmitty: Okay, people, we have no time to sleep, lets grind our way through the bars that connect us to the outside *throws the other saws to his friends*
* 9 hours of cutting through the metal bars later*
Schmitty: YES! got it! how are you guys doing?
DJ: Hehe. what took you so long *Shows Schmitty the Machine he built * It cut them far faster that you did!
Scottie: just about... *Saw breaks* dammit *kicks the bars apart* there
Patrick: *melts the bars with his fire breath
S**mitty: you can breath fire?
Patrick: No. But the habanero chili and big red gum that I had got to me though *burps fire on his cell mate*
Schmitty: I might need to use you as a flame thrower, man.
Frank: *shatters the metal by screaming*
Schmitty: damn that's loud. how are you able to do that?
Frank: I'm the world champion at screaming. I was also in a death metal band.
Nah: didnt need the saw, I could just slip through. I'm in Gymnastics.
Schmitty: Okay lets get out of here
*1 minute later
S**mitty: Okay Patrick, melt the fence
*Patrick melts the fence the gang run out of the prison. they are also being chased by 14 guards*
* Frank Screans and shatters the guards' weapons and armor
*Patrick burps fire onto the guards*
*Meanwhile in a nearby Mortar tower*
Redneck Prison Explosives Expert: Well YEYEEEEEEHAWWW!! Ah've gat some people to shoot! :D * loads mortars into the mortar cannon and fires at Schmitty* *misses and hits Moderator "X" headquarters, luckily Moderator "X" isnt there*
*Fires again* *misses because the wind blew it into the prison walls, blowing gigantic hole in the wall, allowing 2500 prisoners to run amok *fires again* blows a hole in the tower behind him, blowing guards off the tower and onto the ground
Redneck Prison Explosives Expert: Damn it! too drunk.. NEEED SOMETHING STRONGER! *Drinks rubbing alcohol* *fires again, but by this time Schmitty and gang are long gone.
Got Pink? =)

13-Feb-2015 00:07:06 - Last edited on 13-Feb-2015 19:01:47 by Pinká4áTwink

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Part 5
*Outside the prison walls*
Schmitty: Well, We made it*
**: That was reckless.
Patrick: but well played. That guy in the tower must have been trippin' major balls.
Schmitty: Yeah, you'd think the guy would be as sober as a dead man smoking crack.
Patrick: Dead people don't smoke crack.
Schmitty: That's the whole point
???: Hey wait up: *It's Grigor, Albert, And Johnny*
Patrick: Grigor?
Grigor: yep.
Patrick: you died.
Grigor: Just an illusion. Moderator "X" killed a magical duplicate. MOderator "X" has been trying to kill me for months. But make no mistake: Moderator "X" is an enemy of yours now.
Patrick: Seems like we have no Shortage of enemies. so where do we go from here.
Scottie: I still have contacts in Varrock. We could hide out there while we tend to our wounds... and our pride
Patrick: yeah. I want this experience forgotten forever
Scottie: Also, Schmitty, you said you need an army?
Schmitty: I never told you, did I?
Scottie: DJ told me. In short, I can get you one, I however need compensation, cant fund an army on pyss, and moonshine
S**mitty: you can fund an army on pyss?
Scottie: That's not the point! fact is soldiers need wages, you are going to need trillions of Gold Pieces.
Schmitty: you are in luck, I have quite a bit of gold: 7 billion Gp in fact
Patrick: he has a lot more than that. remember your most recent Grand Exchange scam?
Schmitty: Oh you mean the one where I took the gardening tools of thousands of whiney farmer noobs, put them on sale, and wrote to those noobs to cough over all their cash or I would confirm the deal with the buyer?
Patrick: yes that one.
Schmitty: and while in reality I had already confirmed the deal in advance. Oh that was brilliant.
Patrick: in short, he has enough.... And he is going to fork over ALL of his ill-gotten cash, or I'm going to take a huge sloppy **** in his Chicken sandwitch
Nah: um... Guys? I think I have some news: I think I'm.. Pregnant
Patrick: oh, really, congratulations!
Got Pink? =)

18-Feb-2015 22:46:59

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Nah: That's not What I'm worried about. I feel much weaker. like I'm about to *faints*
Schmitty: fall over?, We need to get her over to a doctor.
Dr. Pedigree: Did Someone say doctor? :D
Patrick: eeep! it's the ass hole that got us sent to prison! D:
Schmitty: you!
Dr. Pedigree: Did I do something wrong?
Schmitty: ' did I do something wrong' pah! wait... your serious.
Patrick: you don't remember my being your test subject?
Nah: or Raiping me?
Albert: or the delicious dinner you had with me? *thinks back to how William Shankspear tasted and drools*
Dr. Pedigree: nope, no memory of that whatsoever. I think I owe you an explanation.
Schmitty: oooh do tell.
Dr. Pedigree: I... um.. Have multiple personality disorder
Patrick: Doesnt really excuse what you did. Dr., I hate having to ask you, but Nah here thinks she's pregnant, could you give it a look?
Dr. Pedigree: sure. What I have is a solution that will turn bright pink if touched by a pregnant woman *Nah touches the solution but it turns bright purple
Dr. Pedigree: Well... I have good news and bad news, Nah.
Nah: what is it?
Dr. Pedigree: The good news is that you are pregnant. The bad news is that you won't live to see it grow up. The baby is going to kill you.
Nah: WHAT?! D:
Dr. Pedigree: It's draining your strength slowly,but surely it is going to kill you.
Nah: I don't want to die!
Dr. Pedigree: then you* consider an.
Nah: Absolutely not! That's just as dangerous, the fatality rate is too high.
Schmitty: oh by Guthix, Nah, I have just gotten you killed, I'm so sorry*
**: Schmitty? did you juust say you were sorry?
Albert: Albert thinks this is great news. you're starting to consider consequences, the killer fetus? not so much. * sees a 3 year old child wandering about with ou her parents* FREEEEEEESH*HH MEEEEEEEAT!! *jumps on the 3 year old, snaps her neck as he is jumping on her, makes a fire and cooks her and eats her
DJ: *sigh* I'm surrounded by psychopaths
*end of part 5, chapter 5, and act 1*
Got Pink? =)

18-Feb-2015 23:14:40

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Chapter 1: Building the Network
*In Varrock*
Scottie: and here we are, Phoenix Gang Headquarters, Just a second, I lost my key years ago. *rummages through his pockets and brings out a lockpick* *Starts picking the lock.
Schmitty: Is your contact a member of the Phoenix Gang?
Scottie: You ever hear of Kate the Evicerator?
Dj: Name sounds familiar, wasn't she a spy?
Scottie: for the Black Knights. Yes. The two organizations are merging. Phoenix provides the intelligence, Black Knights provide the military might.
Schmitty: so why did they merge?
Scottie: mutual respect goes both ways. Phoenix smuggled illegal weapons shipments to Black Knight Headquarters in the Desert.
Schmitty: and so they realized that they could be trusted, and they joined forces?
Scottie: No, it's never that simple. It took years of smuggling shipments to gain their trust. What changed was an attack on Black Knight Headquarters by Juntar Varze. It wasnt even a fair fight, Juntar strapped explosives onto children, lit the fuses and sent them straight into the walls where they blew up the walls. I was there, too, Juntar's tactical genious, however backfired. For there was one Black Knight that looked so much bigger than the others.
Schmitty: Dj, didn't you tell me this story?
Dj: Yes, but there was more to it. Whereas Scottie failed to get the hit on the Knight, Juntar did. Juntar's sword, Ranyell, is powerful enough to puncture the armor.
Scottie: It still didnt kill him. I have never seen anyone take a sword through the chest and not only survive the wound, but return to full strength with in seconds.
*Scottie picks the lock*
Schmitty: So what happened next.
Scottie: The Black Knight rallied what troops he had left. (over ninety per cent of the Black Knights in HQ were killed) that's about 4000 troops, and they kept pushing the White Knights back. Slowly, The Black Knight took back control of the battlefield. He personally killed three of Juntar's generals, 500 white knights
Got Pink? =)

26-Feb-2015 15:18:04

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And wounded me.
Schmitty: you mean the savage blow to the head..?
Scottie: yes. I was rendered unconsious. But Dj can finish the rest of the tale*
**: The Black Knight was the met with Black Knight Reinforcements from the east, towards Ardougne. someone apparently signaled them from the tower. This completely cut us off from white knight reinforcements as well as supplies from food to blankets. From the Back ranks. An enemy even we didnt think was a threat attacked our back ranks. The Phoenix gang, who, although they didnt have the numbers to attack head on, launched debris from trebuchet*, crushing the entire force utterly. Juntar fled, he's a coward. the remaining 40 troops were captured, and executed on the spot. before.
Scottie: I was also rounded up, having regained *****ousness, they were going to execute me right then and there, I gave the Tribiarch sign of distress, The Black Knight stopped the execution right there, and let me go.
Schmitty: What's the Tribiarch?
Scottie: It's an old information network. We disbanded three years ago. I can say no more about it. our secrets must never be known. The fact that you know it exists just shows how far I'm willing to trust you Schmitty.
Schmitty: Oh please, my word is garbage
Scottie: Um.. you're not going to tell anyone are you?
Schmitty: you have my word *moves his eyeballs suspiciously*
Patrick: So what happened next?
Scottie: Well I ran. And I ran. And I ran. 19 miles from Ardougne to Falidor being chased by wolves, bears, and hermit crabs.
*gets pinched by Pinchatoshi*
Scottie: YAOW
Pinchatoshi: Hah, pinchpinch me pinched you, now me get to tell my friends that me pinched a four star human general. they will be so impressed. pinchpinch. *throws a smoke bomb and runs for his life
Pinchatoshi: *as he is running* MUAHAHA
Scottie: Oh stupid crab
Narrator, yeah he just made me waste 342 characters for this post on the Rs story forums. Dat makes meh mad!
Got Pink? =)

26-Feb-2015 15:35:59 - Last edited on 05-Mar-2015 03:30:04 by Pinká4áTwink

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WE INTERRUPTS DIS AWESOME CHAPTER TO BRINZ YAZ DEM NEWS STUFF.... WIF LOZZ OF BEER

REDNECK NEWS HAS PLACED A BOUNTY FOR SCHMITTY FIT*PATRICK
Billy Dean: Dis just iin, 7 individuals have escaped from the world renowned jizery compound, Among dem is A Leprechaun taugeted for 'sassination named Schmitty Fit*patrick. He is presumed to be very dangerous. Also note that His personal pot of gold has many valuable jewels just ripe for plundrin' Now lets get to the news.
_________________________________________________________________
JD: IIt's time for the Weather Report!
Becca: That's right. for our souther viewers *looks at Billy and JD* we have decided to dumb it down. so let me begin. Points to a yellow sphere in a blue sky* This is called the sun.. It is VERY warm. it....
JD and Billy: ***********************ZZ BOOOOORING!!!!!!
Becca: Sigh. lets see you try then.
Billy: Right. This is called the sun. The sun is very warn. Da sun controls da weather on this pixelated computer that generates dis world. Da sun controlls da Water Cycle. When *water evaporates, it coalesces into clouds. Clouds are very fluffy, dey discharge rain, rain is very warm. But Rain aint dangerous lightning is. Lightning is caused when subatomic particles rub against each other. Redneck News has just confirmed three deaths as a result of this heinous crime by Guthix.
JD: DAAYATS ROT, BILLY. 152 year old Beartha Shocks was, hilariously, struck by lightning when she was walikng a newborn Pikachu down the block. no Pikachu did not murder her. 198 year old Gertrude Statickov was was struck 976 times in the face with lightning. Such a horrible death for a beautiful undead woman. 8sheds tears* And 200,000 year old Gertrude Agga Uugga Ug, a neanderthalic vampire zombie ***** was struck by lightning after being flung in the air by a slinky then struck by lightning before beng crushed to pieces by a giant space fist made of solid titanum, back to you Becca
Got Pink? =)

05-Mar-2015 03:53:25

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Palleera, and Nah's Pregnancies weakening them would be a coincidence. Think back to Star Wars Ep III. Specifically Padme giving birth to Leyah and Luke. so yeah. Also it is maternal instinct for a dying pregnant woman to look out for her unborn child. Every one is going to consider Nah to be a nuisance. and she'll be looking for someone to take care of the child after her death. Got Pink? =)

09-Mar-2015 15:05:44

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Yeah, the censors are so annoying, the "Z" in Fit*patrick is censored as well. as will as the "M" and "R" in the abreviated "Mister" ( although I think I know why that is the case) friggin DJ's name is censored half the time, so I had to change the spelling to "Deejay". Jagex needs to
recalibrate its censors, it makes it nearly impossible to wriite without worrying
"Is this word going to be censored?" or "Is the "R" or the "X"
or the letter that comes after "Z" going to be
replaced with an asterisk.
end of rant
Got Pink? =)

10-Mar-2015 03:54:17 - Last edited on 10-Mar-2015 04:00:43 by Pinká4áTwink

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Part 2: Rise of the Fit*patrick Rebellion
Scottie: So let's get down there. * All of them go down the ladder to the Phoenix gang Hideout*
Phoenix Gaang Boss: Scottie! how are you?
Scottie: I think you know the answer, Kirk
Kirk: True, You wouldn't come back here if you didn't have a very good reason.
Scottie: That's right, But it is not so much for me, It is for them *Points to Schmitty and gang* Particularly for her *points to Nah*
Kirk: Dear Guthix, What's wrong with her?
Scottie: her pregnancy is killing her, she is extremely weak, and needs some place to rest.
Kirk: fine, What about the leprechauns? This one is more interested in them
Scottie: They are the other half of our predicament. They want to destroy the Toolshed Leprechaun Service
Kirk: Sounds like a very fun suicide mission.
Schmitty: Pretty much, they have the best siege equipment in Runescape,
Kirk: then you are going to need help, and info, and men, spea\king of men *Loud whistle* *5 people come*
Kirk: Schmitty, This is General Putindwarf ,*Another steps forward*
Putindwarf: Where is zat, idiot boy, Zitler?
Kirk: ah, This is Adolf Zitler
Adolf: Vee shall get zem fookers, yah?
Kirk: He likes killing things
Adolf: I also like art, I'm an artist. Both on ze battlefield, and off, Yah.
*Another steps foreward*
Kirk: This is Schwaing Guy Shrek
Guy: Where is that stupid ching chong, Shmoww ze dung
Shmoww: Right here you dickweed
*another steps forward*
This is Benito Muzzolini
Benito: 'eeeey wassup-a I came-a here all the way from-a Schitally
Nah: Hey what's the big idea? There all Black Knights
*Black Knights and white knights give each other blaring angry looks*
Got Pink? =)

19-Mar-2015 15:40:35 - Last edited on 20-Mar-2015 23:36:18 by Pinká4áTwink

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Adolf: I refuse to verk wees zeez pasetic White Knights, yah!
Benito: Morte ai Cavalieri Bianchi (Death to the White Knights)
Putindwarf: You white knights suck at your job
Schmoww: Shmowwow Schmowowowo!
Schwaing: White knights are soo honorable!! It is disgusting
Nah: I'm dying so I don't care about this argument.
Johnny: *Talks in Morse code*
Albert: Johnny here says that you black knights lack style. this one agrees.
Frank: Aint no black knight able to blow **** up like me, i'm yo ace in the hole.
*Glaring and angry looks continue
Kirk: There are a few more introductions to make.
Schmitty: more introductions?
Kirk: White knight defects. so introducing Fred Ridinghood
Fred: Oh dear, this won't do, white knights and black knights working together? What have the woods come to? Granny, would be annoyed to see this if she were alive.
Kirk: right... Introducing "Moldy" Dickweed
Dickweed: I prefer Richard, thank you very much, and if that damn white whale gets away again....
Got Pink? =)

20-May-2015 15:45:06 - Last edited on 05-Aug-2015 21:50:59 by Pinká4áTwink

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Kirk: Ahem. I'm sure you are just as mortified as I. but at great cost, We've acquired you a Slaver named Sarah
*Smokin' hot brunette chick kicks in the door. She's wearing black leather sleaves cut jacket that makes her cleavage look big, brown shorts with holes with her legs covered in black leather greaves. on her back is a dai katana*
Slaver Sarah: Yo, boys!!!
Albert and Frank: I just busted a nut!
Adolf: I sink, I'm going to jyzz, yah!
Johnny: *speaks in morse code. his heart beat is putting out morse code faster as Sarah approaches*
Fred: Johnny says he's about to jyzz, me too, gottsa gets my hands on that
Nah: um, I'm straight as an arrow and I almost want to **** her! DX
Schmow ze dung: SCHMOWOWOWOWOWWOWWOW!!!!! *jumps up and licks her face like a dog
Sarah: eek, diseased monkeydog! *kick*
Benito: Ciao bella signora ... mio dio. Sto per rompere un dado(Hello beautiful lady! my god. I'm about to bust a nut!!)
Richard: my god! My p3nith is working again! I just jyzzed for the first time in 52 years!
Scottie: Oh snap out of it people she's not.... even... oh ****, that's hot
Patrick: Hah! I'm HIV Positive I will not spread... *pauses in speech HER TYTTS... excuse me!!! :) I have to check our supply of meat!!!
Kirk: HAH! you all lose. I'm g4yer than Elton John at Pride! Sarah: does this happen a lot to you?
Slaver Sarah: all the time. I'm used to it!
Kirk: I'd bet it's annoying
Slaver Sarah: I will not be conquered by any man, I'm a devoted L3sbian
Got Pink? =)

05-Aug-2015 22:06:15 - Last edited on 05-Aug-2015 22:08:31 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

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Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Schmitty: you call that impressive! Muahaha! oi once met a woman who was twice as beautiful as this piece of smut! anyways She was found horrifically murdered. eyeballs cut out, body dismembered, and tossed into the meat compacter. quite gruesome as the blood was splattered everywhere. You'd have to do better than that, Narrator!
*Vampire hermit crabs above: BLOOD!? :D :D
Narator: :(
Kirk: Okay, boys: Get your damn minds out of the gutter!
Benito ma ho avuto questa grande fantasia sessuale in cui tutta la banda era in un'orgia con lei!: (but I had this great *** fantasy where the whole gang was in an **** with her!)
Patrick: yeah can we think in the gutter for a while longer?
Schmitty: no you may not! we have work to do!! And if You do not stop thinking of her in this way, I will gut you all! Even you Patrick!
*Johnny talks in morse code*
Patrick: yes, brother... oh And Johnny says that this is something he cannot do!
Schmitty: so be it, Johnny! come to my quarters for a second
Johnny: *gulp* *heart is pumping really fast
Adolf: come on, yah! Up ze stairs, yah! *breaks out in extremely bad acne as well as hives, cold sores and double headed pimples. My face, It BURNSSSS, Yah! *pushes Johnny up the stairs and into Schmitty's quarters *slams the door shut and locks Johnny in*
Adolf: one less White Knight yah
Benito: Arrivederci, idiota( goodbye idiot)
* for 2 hours, Johnny's bloodcurdling screams are echoing down the hall*
Schmitty: emerges from his room, covered in blood with Johnny completely dismembered by hand saws *on Schmitty's neck is a necklace made with string and Johnny's teeth
Got Pink? =)

05-Aug-2015 22:36:53

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*Two days after cold-bloodedly torturing and murdering Johnny*
*Patrick**** , Albert, Nah, and Frank are complaining about the smell coming from upstairs
Patrick: I shudder to think what Schmitty did to poor Johnny
Albert: Albert always thought that Johnny was the best friend a humble cannibal could ask for. Did Albert mention that he knew Johnny since he was a child?
Patrick: And now Schmitty kills him. sounded painful. How did you two meet?
Albert: Our fathers used to hunt together, so when we were 4 years old, we met. Best buds ever, and forever.... and now Schmitty has extinguished that flame... *sobs*
**: *sobbing* when... when I met Johnny, I thought he was the weirdest person ever to exist... No person talks solely in Morse code, much less his heart beating in Morse code.
We were out hunting black knights one day, when I ran out of arrows. Johnny just hands over six quivers of arrows to me. He had seven quivers. his seventh quiver had only two arrows left. Johnny was always like that: Selfless to a fault, even in the face of horrible danger.
Nah: *giggles*I always had a soft spot for Johnny. He made these wonderful gumdrops, laced with pumpkin spice, and cinnamon with a hint of lemon. A lot of people hated his gumdrops*
**: Especially me. but it was the thought that counts.
Nah: I, however, loved them. and when I told him that I loved them, he got all sweet on me.
Frank: He was always the special guy in our group of Misfits.
Albert: A lot of people gave him crap, kids made fun of him on account of the whole Morse Code thing he had going on.
Frank: He also had a thing going on with William. He helped William write some of his poetry, also agreed to help deliver some of Patsy's packages, into dangerous areas.
Patrick: A toast, then... To Johnny. And may my brother rot in hell for killing him.
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 01:29:05

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*Two days after cold-bloodedly torturing and murdering Johnny*
*Patrick,Deejay , Albert, Nah, and Frank are complaining about the smell coming from upstairs*
Patrick: I shudder to think what Schmitty did to poor Johnny
Albert: Albert always thought that Johnny was the best friend a humble cannibal could ask for. Did Albert mention that he knew Johnny since he was a child?
Patrick: And now Schmitty kills him. sounded painful. How did you two meet?
Albert: Our fathers used to hunt together, so when we were 4 years old, we met. Best buds ever, and forever.... and now Schmitty has extinguished that flame... *sobs*
Deejay: *sobbing* when... when I met Johnny, I thought he was the weirdest person ever to exist... No person talks solely in Morse code, much less his heart beating in Morse code.
We were out hunting black knights one day, when I ran out of arrows. Johnny just hands over six quivers of arrows to me. He had seven quivers. his seventh quiver had only two arrows left. Johnny was always like that: Selfless to a fault, even in the face of horrible danger.
Nah: *giggles*I always had a soft spot for Johnny. He made these wonderful gumdrops, laced with pumpkin spice, and cinnamon with a hint of lemon. A lot of people hated his gumdrops*
**: Especially me. but it was the thought that counts.
Nah: I, however, loved them. and when I told him that I loved them, he got all sweet on me.
Frank: He was always the special guy in our group of Misfits.
Albert: A lot of people gave him crap, kids made fun of him on account of the whole Morse Code thing he had going on.
Frank: He also had a thing going on with William. He helped William write some of his poetry, also agreed to help deliver some of Patsy's packages, into dangerous areas.
Patrick: A toast, then... To Johnny. And may my brother rot in hell for killing him.
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 01:29:11 - Last edited on 25-Aug-2015 01:31:52 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*Two days after cold-bloodedly torturing and murdering Johnny*
*Patrick, Deejay , Albert, Nah, and Frank are complaining about the smell coming from upstairs
Patrick: I shudder to think what Schmitty did to poor Johnny
Albert: Albert always thought that Johnny was the best friend a humble cannibal could ask for. Did Albert mention that he knew Johnny since he was a child?
Patrick: And now Schmitty kills him. sounded painful. How did you two meet?
Albert: Our fathers used to hunt together, so when we were 4 years old, we met. Best buds ever, and forever.... and now Schmitty has extinguished that flame... *sobs*
Deejay: *sobbing* when... when I met Johnny, I thought he was the weirdest person ever to exist... No person talks solely in Morse code, much less his heart beating in Morse code.
We were out hunting black knights one day, when I ran out of arrows. Johnny just hands over six quivers of arrows to me. He had seven quivers. his seventh quiver had only two arrows left. Johnny was always like that: Selfless to a fault, even in the face of horrible danger.
Nah: *giggles*I always had a soft spot for Johnny. He made these wonderful gumdrops, laced with pumpkin spice, and cinnamon with a hint of lemon. A lot of people hated his gumdrops.
Deejay: Especially me. but it was the thought that counts.
Nah: I, however, loved them. and when I told him that I loved them, he got all sweet on me.
Frank: He was always the special guy in our group of Misfits.
Albert: A lot of people gave him crap, kids made fun of him on account of the whole Morse Code thing he had going on.
Frank: He also had a thing going on with William. He helped William write some of his poetry, also agreed to help deliver some of Patsy's packages, into dangerous areas.
Patrick: A toast, then... To Johnny. And may my brother rot in hell for killing him.
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 01:32:44

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*Two days after cold-bloodedly torturing and murdering Johnny*
*Patrick, Deejay , Albert, Nah, and Frank are complaining about the smell coming from upstairs
Patrick: I shudder to think what Schmitty did to poor Johnny
Albert: Albert always thought that Johnny was the best friend a humble cannibal could ask for. Did Albert mention that he knew Johnny since he was a child?
Patrick: And now Schmitty kills him. sounded painful. How did you two meet?
Albert: Our fathers used to hunt together, so when we were 4 years old, we met. Best buds ever, and forever.... and now Schmitty has extinguished that flame... *sobs*
Deejay: *sobbing* when... when I met Johnny, I thought he was the weirdest person ever to exist... No person talks solely in Morse code, much less his heart beating in Morse code.
We were out hunting black knights one day, when I ran out of arrows. Johnny just hands over six quivers of arrows to me. He had seven quivers. his seventh quiver had only two arrows left. Johnny was always like that: Selfless to a fault, even in the face of horrible danger.
Nah: *giggles*I always had a soft spot for Johnny. He made these wonderful gumdrops, laced with pumpkin spice, and cinnamon with a hint of lemon. A lot of people hated his gumdrops.
Deejay: Especially me. but it was the thought that counts.
Nah: I, however, loved them. and when I told him that I loved them, he got all sweet on me.
Frank: He was always the special guy in our group of Misfits.
Albert: A lot of people gave him crap, kids made fun of him on account of the whole Morse Code thing he had going on.
Frank: He also had a thing going on with William. He helped William write some of his poetry, also agreed to help deliver some of Patsy's packages, into dangerous areas.
Patrick: A toast, then... To Johnny. And may my brother rot in hell for killing him.
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 01:32:46

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*Two days after cold-bloodedly torturing and murdering Johnny*
*Patrick, Deejay , Albert, Nah, and Frank are complaining about the smell coming from upstairs
Patrick: I shudder to think what Schmitty did to poor Johnny
Albert: Albert always thought that Johnny was the best friend a humble cannibal could ask for. Did Albert mention that he knew Johnny since he was a child?
Patrick: And now Schmitty kills him. sounded painful. How did you two meet?
Albert: Our fathers used to hunt together, so when we were 4 years old, we met. Best buds ever, and forever.... and now Schmitty has extinguished that flame... *sobs*
Deejay: *sobbing* when... when I met Johnny, I thought he was the weirdest person ever to exist... No person talks solely in Morse code, much less his heart beating in Morse code.
We were out hunting black knights one day, when I ran out of arrows. Johnny just hands over six quivers of arrows to me. He had seven quivers. his seventh quiver had only two arrows left. Johnny was always like that: Selfless to a fault, even in the face of horrible danger.
Nah: *giggles*I always had a soft spot for Johnny. He made these wonderful gumdrops, laced with pumpkin spice, and cinnamon with a hint of lemon. A lot of people hated his gumdrops.
Deejay: Especially me. but it was the thought that counts.
Nah: I, however, loved them. and when I told him that I loved them, he got all sweet on me.
Frank: He was always the special guy in our group of Misfits.
Albert: A lot of people gave him crap, kids made fun of him on account of the whole Morse Code thing he had going on.
Frank: He also had a thing going on with William. He helped William write some of his poetry, also agreed to help deliver some of Patsy's packages, into dangerous areas.
Patrick: A toast, then... To Johnny. And may my brother rot in hell for killing him.
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 01:32:47

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*Two days after cold-bloodedly torturing and murdering Johnny*
*Patrick, Deejay , Albert, Nah, and Frank are complaining about the smell coming from upstairs
Patrick: I shudder to think what Schmitty did to poor Johnny
Albert: Albert always thought that Johnny was the best friend a humble cannibal could ask for. Did Albert mention that he knew Johnny since he was a child?
Patrick: And now Schmitty kills him. sounded painful. How did you two meet?
Albert: Our fathers used to hunt together, so when we were 4 years old, we met. Best buds ever, and forever.... and now Schmitty has extinguished that flame... *sobs*
Deejay: *sobbing* when... when I met Johnny, I thought he was the weirdest person ever to exist... No person talks solely in Morse code, much less his heart beating in Morse code.
We were out hunting black knights one day, when I ran out of arrows. Johnny just hands over six quivers of arrows to me. He had seven quivers. his seventh quiver had only two arrows left. Johnny was always like that: Selfless to a fault, even in the face of horrible danger.
Nah: *giggles*I always had a soft spot for Johnny. He made these wonderful gumdrops, laced with pumpkin spice, and cinnamon with a hint of lemon. A lot of people hated his gumdrops.
Deejay: Especially me. but it was the thought that counts.
Nah: I, however, loved them. and when I told him that I loved them, he got all sweet on me.
Frank: He was always the special guy in our group of Misfits.
Albert: A lot of people gave him crap, kids made fun of him on account of the whole Morse Code thing he had going on.
Frank: He also had a thing going on with William. He helped William write some of his poetry, also agreed to help deliver some of Patsy's packages, into dangerous areas.
Patrick: A toast, then... To Johnny. And may my brother rot in hell for killing him.
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 01:33:11

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*just a rambling to replace an entire goddamn page of double posts*
blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblah blah blah blah blahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblablahblah.

And so
Blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblabblah
Therefore
Blahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblah,
Let us then assume that
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blablahblah
blahblahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblahblah
blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blah blahblah rah blahblah blah
One can safely assume that
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahbbingtonblahblah
And so
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbingtonblahblah
blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbinghammingtoblahblah
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
It is with this in mind that I cannot blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahlahblablah
blahblahblahblahblahblahbblinghammingtoninghamington
In the same way that blahblahblahblahblah and that blah blahblahblahbb*hammingham
blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahbbinghammington. blahblah blah blah blah blah
I understand that blahblah blah blahblahbbingblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblahblah blah blahblahblahbittyblahblahblah blahblah blah blah
Thank you and blah blah blah blah..
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 01:33:12 - Last edited on 02-Sep-2015 04:35:05 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*just a rambling to replace goddamn page of double posts*
blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblah blah blah blah blahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblablahblah.

And so
Blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblabblah
Therefore
Blahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblah,
Let us then assume that
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blablahblah
blahblahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblahblah
blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blah blahblah rah blahblah blah
One can safely assume that
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahbbingtonblahblah
And so
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbingtonblahblah
blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbinghammingtoblahblah
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
It is with this in mind that I cannot blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahlahblablah
blahblahblahblahblahblahbblinghammingtoninghamington
In the same way that blahblahblahblahblah and that blah blahblahblahbb*hammingham
blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahbbinghammington. blahblah blah blah blah blah
I understand that blahblah blah blahblahbbingblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblahblah blah blahblahblahbittyblahblahblah blahblah blah blah
Thank you and blah blah blah blah..
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 01:33:12 - Last edited on 02-Sep-2015 04:36:11 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*just a rambling to replace goddamn page of double posts*
blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblah blah blah blah blahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblablahblah.

And so
Blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblabblah
Therefore
Blahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblah,
Let us then assume that
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blablahblah
blahblahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblahblah
blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blah blahblah rah blahblah blah
One can safely assume that
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahbbingtonblahblah
And so
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbingtonblahblah
blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbinghammingtoblahblah
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
It is with this in mind that I cannot blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahlahblablah
blahblahblahblahblahblahbblinghammingtoninghamington
In the same way that blahblahblahblahblah and that blah blahblahblahbb*hammingham
blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahbbinghammington. blahblah blah blah blah blah
I understand that blahblah blah blahblahbbingblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblahblah blah blahblahblahbittyblahblahblah blahblah blah blah
Thank you and blah blah blah blah..
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 01:33:12 - Last edited on 02-Sep-2015 04:36:28 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*just a rambling to replace an entire goddamn page of double posts*
blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblah blah blah blah blahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblablahblah.

And so
Blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblabblah
Therefore
Blahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblah,
Let us then assume that
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blablahblah
blahblahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblahblah
blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blah blahblah rah blahblah blah
One can safely assume that
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahbbingtonblahblah
And so
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbingtonblahblah
blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbinghammingtoblahblah
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
It is with this in mind that I cannot blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahlahblablah
blahblahblahblahblahblahbblinghammingtoninghamington
In the same way that blahblahblahblahblah and that blah blahblahblahbb*hammingham
blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahbbinghammington. blahblah blah blah blah blah
I understand that blahblah blah blahblahbbingblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblahblah blah blahblahblahbittyblahblahblah blahblah blah blah
Thank you and blah blah blah blah..
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 01:33:13 - Last edited on 02-Sep-2015 04:37:03 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*Two days after cold-bloodedly torturing and murdering Johnny*
*Patrick, Deejay , Albert, Nah, and Frank are complaining about the smell coming from upstairs
Patrick: I shudder to think what Schmitty did to poor Johnny
Albert: Albert always thought that Johnny was the best friend a humble cannibal could ask for. Did Albert mention that he knew Johnny since he was a child?
Patrick: And now Schmitty kills him. sounded painful. How did you two meet?
Albert: Our fathers used to hunt together, so when we were 4 years old, we met. Best buds ever, and forever.... and now Schmitty has extinguished that flame... *sobs*
Deejay: *sobbing* when... when I met Johnny, I thought he was the weirdest person ever to exist... No person talks solely in Morse code, much less his heart beating in Morse code.
We were out hunting black knights one day, when I ran out of arrows. Johnny just hands over six quivers of arrows to me. He had seven quivers. his seventh quiver had only two arrows left. Johnny was always like that: Selfless to a fault, even in the face of horrible danger.
Nah: *giggles*I always had a soft spot for Johnny. He made these wonderful gumdrops, laced with pumpkin spice, and cinnamon with a hint of lemon. A lot of people hated his gumdrops.
Deejay: Especially me. but it was the thought that counts.
Nah: I, however, loved them. and when I told him that I loved them, he got all sweet on me.
Frank: He was always the special guy in our group of Misfits.
Albert: A lot of people gave him crap, kids made fun of him on account of the whole Morse Code thing he had going on.
Frank: He also had a thing going on with William. He helped William write some of his poetry, also agreed to help deliver some of Patsy's packages, into dangerous areas.
Patrick: A toast, then... To Johnny. And may my brother rot in hell for killing him.
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 01:33:13

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*Schmitty comes in*
Schmitty: Hey, everybody!!
Albert: Albert can't deal with this! *storms out of the room*
Deejay: Yeah. real nice. Killing Johnny in such an awful way, what did you do to make him scream so much?
Schmitty: *Tells the tale of how he brutally dismembered Johnny while he was alive and conscious with a rusted saw*
Deejay: You jackass!
Schmitty: I'm not looking for approval, we have a job to do, anything that gets in my way is my enemy, and let's not forget that you are still bound to my service.
Deejay: *Turns to Patrick* Patrick, I need a break from you and your brother. A long one
Patrick: We need you here, Deejay
Deejay: I know you do, I would just like to mourn. And to come to terms with your brother's depravity. Your brother is a scumbag, he only cares about himself.
Patrick: No. He's changing, he got the initiative to look for Albert in prison, and helped us all escape, when he actually liked it in that vile and disgusting dungeon. if that isn't selflessness, I don't know what is.
Deejay: He made the change too late. No one will ever believe in his desire to redeem. He could, in fact be looking to score some extra points with us.
Scottie: Deejay is correct: a scumbag looking to redeem himself is still a scumbag. And no matter how he tries to change, he has to remember: No matter how earnest his desire to redeem himself, there will always be a legion of doubters speculating whether his desire to redeem is genuine. And the reasons are because you take far too much joy in killing, You have also been known to double-cross or go back on your word. Face it: you are a psychopath. As a military leader, troops will look up to you, they will respect you, but loyalty is not gained be instilling fear, it is gained by being an example, a mentor. Ultimately, what wins a battle is not troop numbers, or good strategies. it is the dispositions of those who serve under you.
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 01:33:14 - Last edited on 25-Aug-2015 16:09:58 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*just a rambling to replace an entire goddamn page of double posts*
blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblah blah blah blah blahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblablahblah.

And so
Blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblabblah
Therefore
Blahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblah,
Let us then assume that
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blablahblah
blahblahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblahblah
blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blah blahblah rah blahblah blah
One can safely assume that
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahbbingtonblahblah
And so
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbingtonblahblah
blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbinghammingtoblahblah
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
It is with this in mind that I cannot blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahlahblablah
blahblahblahblahblahblahbblinghammingtoninghamington
In the same way that blahblahblahblahblah and that blah blahblahblahbb*hammingham
blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahbbinghammington. blahblah blah blah blah blah
I understand that blahblah blah blahblahbbingblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblahblah blah blahblahblahbittyblahblahblah blahblah blah blah
Thank you and blah blah blah blah..
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 16:51:16 - Last edited on 02-Sep-2015 04:37:30 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*just a rambling to replace an entire goddamn page of double posts*
blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblah blah blah blah blahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblablahblah.

And so
Blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblabblah
Therefore
Blahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblah,
Let us then assume that
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blablahblah
blahblahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblahblah
blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blah blahblah rah blahblah blah
One can safely assume that
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahbbingtonblahblah
And so
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbingtonblahblah
blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbinghammingtoblahblah
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
It is with this in mind that I cannot blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahlahblablah
blahblahblahblahblahblahbblinghammingtoninghamington
In the same way that blahblahblahblahblah and that blah blahblahblahbb*hammingham
blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahbbinghammington. blahblah blah blah blah blah
I understand that blahblah blah blahblahbbingblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblahblah blah blahblahblahbittyblahblahblah blahblah blah blah
Thank you and blah blah blah blah..
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 16:51:27 - Last edited on 02-Sep-2015 04:37:56 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*just a rambling to an replace entire goddamn page of double posts*
blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblah blah blah blah blahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblablahblah.

And so
Blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblabblah
Therefore
Blahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblah,
Let us then assume that
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blablahblah
blahblahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblahblah
blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blah blahblah rah blahblah blah
One can safely assume that
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahbbingtonblahblah
And so
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbingtonblahblah
blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbinghammingtoblahblah
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
It is with this in mind that I cannot blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahlahblablah
blahblahblahblahblahblahbblinghammingtoninghamington
In the same way that blahblahblahblahblah and that blah blahblahblahbb*hammingham
blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahbbinghammington. blahblah blah blah blah blah
I understand that blahblah blah blahblahbbingblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblahblah blah blahblahblahbittyblahblahblah blahblah blah blah
Thank you and blah blah blah blah..
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 16:52:06 - Last edited on 02-Sep-2015 04:38:26 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
But you, my psychopathic friend do not command respect from loyalty, you command respect from fear. It will bite you in the butt. Sheep look to their shepherd for guidance.
And ultimately, if you don't change, Ser Godfrey Dinglemurphy will destroy you!
Schmitty: Dinglemurphy?? He's here?
Scottie: oh that's right, you didn't hear. Dinglemurphy wishes to reclaim you, and discipline you... up the ass hole, if necessary... with a toilet plunger. Luckily he is in Taverly preparing his troops. All veteran soldiers with the Toolshed Leprechaun Service. we have to act now. So you want troops, then here is what you must do: Take these pipe bombs, place it into the Varrock Castle basement wall. The one with a giant Tower shield adorned with the King Roald's family crest. Place another on Roald's throne.
Schmitty: what purpose would that serve?
Scottie: It will throw the castle into chaos. Zombies will flood into the castle, from the basement. Destroying the King's throne is a declaration of war, and these pipe bombs have the crest of the Toolshed Leprechaun Service branded all over them. King Roald is quick to anger, and will most likely declare war on the spot.
Nah: so... subterfuge?
Schmoww: Schmowschmowschmow schmowschmowschmowschmow.
Adolf: Schmoww says that he is good at subterfuge, Yah. Trust me, yah, He was a Jester, Yah. everyone overlooks jesters, yah!
Nah: I can imagine that, and I'm coming as well. no one will suspect a heavily pregnant woman. If caught, they'll postpone execution until the birth of my child, by then, I will be dead.
Scottie: makes sense.
Schmitty: *has an expression of worry on his face* Are you sure you want to do this, Nah?
Nah: I will not sit by, and be defenseless nor will I be useless. The parasite be dammed!
Schmoww: Schmowowowowo!
Nah: Shut up, Schmoww...
Schmoww: :(
Schmitty: I don't know, It sounds like you want to quicken your passing, Nah, why would you do that?
Nah: I'm dying anyway.
Got Pink? =)

25-Aug-2015 16:53:33 - Last edited on 27-Aug-2015 00:06:59 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*just a rambling to replace a double post*
blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblah blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blah blah blahblahblah blah blahblahblah blah blah blah blahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblablahblah.

And so
Blah blah blah blah blahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblabblah
Therefore
Blahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblah,
Let us then assume that
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blablahblah
blahblahblahblahblah blah blahblah blahblahblah
blah blah blah blahblahblah blah blah blahblah rah blahblah blah
One can safely assume that
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahbbingtonblahblah
And so
blahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbingtonblahblah
blah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahbbinghammingtoblahblah
blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
It is with this in mind that I cannot blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahlahblablah
blahblahblahblahblahblahbblinghammingtoninghamington
In the same way that blahblahblahblahblah and that blah blahblahblahbb*hammingham
blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blahbbinghammington. blahblah blah blah blah blah
I understand that blahblah blah blahblahbbingblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
blahblahblahblah blah blahblahblahbittyblahblahblah blahblah blah blah
Thank you and blah blah blah blah.
Got Pink? =)

27-Aug-2015 00:21:14 - Last edited on 27-Aug-2015 00:36:14 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Schmitty: I can't let you do that. For your child's sake
Nah: Then you should have thought before you executed Johnny... You should have thought before, you attempted to pilfer from Doctor Pedigree, getting both William, and Patsy killed. you have no right to tell me what I can't do. *is about to leave before Schmitty asks her one last question*
Schmitty: why do you do what I ask you to, then?
Nah: I think you know the answers. *leaves*
Schmitty: *turns to Patrick* Did you just hear that?
Patrick: Let's not jump to conclusions Schmitty, She might be looking to you for succor.
Adolf: Passetic, yah! Romance... disgusting!
Benito: Oh, don't-a listen to Adolf, he is a sourpuss!
end of part whatever.
Got Pink? =)

27-Aug-2015 00:21:32

Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*Prologue to part 3*
*We iynterrupt this emotional moment tyo brinzz you da news: Cajun Staul. Iyits Russian And Redneck News*
Billy: It be confirmed dayat an invading army of leprechauns has made itself known iyin Taverly. to cayapture dat arse hole, Schmitty Fit*patrick Ayand hi*is brother, Patrick, Who excapeded the Jizzery Compound layast week. Leading this impressive army of leprechauns is legendary TLS General, Godfrey Dinglemurphy. Heyere be his words from the interview.
Godfrey: Oi am extremely disappointed that one of our best conmen has decided to war against the very service that saved his life. Oi Will find this degenerate and discipline him up the arse, If necessary with me handy toilet plunger, Betty! Isn't that right, Betty?
Betty:...
Billy: Yayah! whoo whoo, Go Godfrey!!
JD: Regarding Schmitty's brother, Patrick, Godfrey hayad theeyis to say
Godfrey: Oh... Hey, Patrick, Oi Shoved Betty so hard up Your Girlfriend's crotch, that she died of internal bleeding, Muahahahahahah!
*Patrick and Schmitty are Watching the interview*
Patrick: That Arse hole! She did not deserve to die!!
Schmitty: DINGLEMURHYYYYYY!!!!!! *Shakes his fist at the TV*
Godfrey: That's right, lad. Oi then proceeded to ravage her dead body. Oi Captured it on video!
Billy: We can't show the video but we will ayenyway because **** the goddamn ************* son of a ***** ****-licking ****-sucking censors
*Shows the disturbing video on Live *V*
Patrick: WTF is this??? DINGLEMURPHYYYYY!!!! *Shakes his fist at the TV*
Billy: Dayats all for this episode. And now we must search for more sponsors like: Child-Licker TV, toiletplungerdisciplinarian dot xxx And... Fisttheteddybear dot net! so See ya
S**mitty: Now do you see what Oi mean?
Patrick: Aye, that Oi do, lassy! Dinglemurphy must die!!!
Got Pink? =)

02-Sep-2015 05:11:15 - Last edited on 02-Sep-2015 19:59:31 by Pinká4áTwink

Pinká4áTwink

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Posts: 3,587Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Patrick: Oi was wrong about you, brother. If the Toolshed Leprechaun Service is run by deranged nutjobs like Dinglemurphy, It was only prudent for you to kill your bosses. Were your bosses jerks as well?
Schmitty: Everything went well until our old boss got replaced... By Dinglemurphy's brother, Kendal.
Patrick: Oi however do not think the TLS should not be destroyed; but rather, the order should be reorganized.
Schmitty: The only way to save the organization IS to destroy it. There are far too many Dinglemurphy's in the TLS.
Patrick: Remember what you said, "You cannot judge someone based on prejudice"
Schmitty: How would you save the organization?
Patrick: Oi would foire everyone who thinks the way Dingledoushe does, and begin anew.
Schmitty: Oi Think the TLS is so morally corrupt that it does not matter who you fire. Dinglemurphy's way of thinking is too attractive to us leprechauns. Oh we pretend that we want to help farmers with their farming tools, but inside, we live for war. Why do you think there is a different TLS Leprechaun at different hours of the day?
Patrick: Because Leprechauns need to sleep?
Schmitty: True, But have you noticed how many leprechauns are out at different hours of the day? Each city has at least 168 different leprechauns- one for each hour of the week. Don't you see, Patrick. This be an invading army.
Patrick: That makes no sense..
Schmitty: Each Magical Toolshed is also an armory. Here let me show you. Oi know a place
*Schmitty Takes Patrick, Albert And Adolf with him to an abandoned Toolshed*
Schmitty: Look familiar, Patrick?
Patrick: this is the one you worked at, isn't it?
Schmitty: yes.
TLS Guard: *Behind them* Halt, me boy! What're you doing her-SCHMITTY!!! :D
Schmitty: Douglas? You aren't going to arrest me, are you?
Douglas: Oi should.. But Oi won't. You be a hero to me!
Got Pink? =)

17-Sep-2015 01:12:11 - Last edited on 17-Sep-2015 19:57:17 by Pinká4áTwink

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