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The Search for the Partyhats

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NoobáTwinzá5
Feb Member 2012

NoobáTwinzá5

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NOTE: SECOND VERSION OF THIS THREAD: 49-50-974-63054588 . Complete, cleaner and no interruptions with other posts! Any similarities with this story, The Search for the Partyhats, and the book "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" is completely purposeful. Any actions displayed by the JAGeX moderators, or anything spoken by them, in this story is completely my own making and do not have anything to do with the real moderators.
JAGeX Headquarters-December 24, 2001...
Paul Gower hurried down the main stairwell of the JAGeX Headquarters. It would not do him well to be late to his brother's meeting, which had been so unexpectedly ordered that afternoon. He had no idea what they were going to talk about, but if Andrew had sounded that concerned on the telephone, he knew he must hurry.
He turned right and was now walking down the corridor leading to the door. The low murmurs and whispers from behind the door grew louder, and finally, he reached the entrance to the meeting room. He opened it slowly and found a long table, various moderators sitting around the table, with one man sitting at the head.
The meeting room was a small room deep in the bowels of the JAGeX HQ. It was where they discussed the most secret matters of RuneScape and JAGeX. Their last meeting had not been since the first day of RuneScape, January 4, and that was nearly a year ago.
The voices silenced at once and every single one of the heads turned in the direction of Paul. The man sitting at the head turned toward his brother, somewhat of a smile spreading across his face. However, it was very hard to tell his expression due to the low lighting of the room.
"Paul..." Andrew said quietly. "I am glad you could make it. Won't you please sit down? You are lucky you're not late."
Paul took his seat at the opposite end of the table. The other head moderators continued to watch him until he sat down, only until Andrew spoke again, which made them all turn to look at him once more.

30-Jun-2011 23:11:47 - Last edited on 01-Aug-2011 03:35:57 by NoobáTwinzá5

NoobáTwinzá5
Feb Member 2012

NoobáTwinzá5

Posts: 640Steel Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
"Moderators," Andrew began, but he was cut short when an outburst of cries came from a small man sitting in the middle of the table.
"Oh, my Lord Andrew, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do it! I didn't know I wasn't supposed to add the new fish to the Fishing skill so early, please don't whip me! All the players were so happy, I-I-"
Andrew raised an annoyed hand. "Silence. I own no whip, and that is not what this is about. I will have you removed if you do not silence yourself now."
The small man quieted at once, but he was still spluttering quietly to himself. Andrew continued.
"I do believe we can get started now.... As you all very well know, tomorrow is Christmas day. And as such, we will need to be releasing a reward for the players. Does anyone have any ideas for such reward?"
"Er, maybe we could release snowballs that players can throw at each other and make snowmen out of?" suggested one moderator.
"Are you serious?" Andrew said. "That sounds ridiculous. Anyone else?"
"H-how about," piped up one woman, who had had her head low until that moment, when she looked up to address Andrew, "how about, erm, C-Christmas crackers? P-players could use them on each other, and-and the cracker would open and give them a prize?"
"Very nice.... I like that idea," said Andrew, nodding and looking at the table. "And the prize... of course, it would be nothing other than a partyhat, right?"
All around the table, everyone nodded and murmured in agreement.
"And it would be helpful in another matter..." Andrew continued, standing, and everyone around the table flinched. "It has come to my attention that our players do not like our game. They feel our graphics are poor, and the overall game play is horrible. Would you agree, Paupersen?"
A man who was sitting immediately to Andrew's left looked up and shook his head lowly.

30-Jun-2011 23:11:59 - Last edited on 02-Jul-2011 01:52:00 by NoobáTwinzá5

NoobáTwinzá5
Feb Member 2012

NoobáTwinzá5

Posts: 640Steel Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
"Good...." Andrew made his way around the table slowly, and stopped to stand behind one moderator. "We are threatened. Our player base has become too strong. They wish... to attack us! Us, here! At the Headquarters. They feel if they attack us, they will get what they want. What do you make of this, Poppy?"
A moderator who had been sitting high in her chair, a sense of pride emitting off her face, glanced up at Andrew, but did not seem as intimidated as the others.
"It is very wrong indeed, my Lord. Our players cannot do this. We must act, we must protect ourselves."
Andrew looked amused and nodded.
"But, you wonder, how does this relate to the matter of Christmas?" Andrew said, looking around the table before continuing to round on the moderators, then stopping behind his brother. "If we release these Christmas crackers to the players, with which they can pull with another player and receive a partyhat, we will become... immortal. We cannot be attacked, nor can we be killed by our players. These partyhats have powers. We shall never be defeated, never be persuaded, never be proved otherwise! It's... the ultimate plan."
Everyone around the table looked deeply confused. One woman piped up.
"But, how will this help us?"
"SILENCE!" Andrew roared from the table, and everyone, even the proud Moderator Poppy, looked down at their laps, frightened.
"IT WILL! But I cannot do this without all of your help! I need all of you to program and test these Christmas crackers. I need you to stay here, at the HQ, until midnight, and release them on Christmas day! But we all know this is a mere five hours away. We do not have much time."
"But what if no one wants these... hats, you speak of, brother?" asked Paul, turning his head slightly toward his brother.
"They will want them, Paul. Our players crave holiday rewards, they crave items, special items, that they can keep forever and cherish.

30-Jun-2011 23:12:08 - Last edited on 22-Jul-2011 07:01:55 by NoobáTwinzá5

NoobáTwinzá5
Feb Member 2012

NoobáTwinzá5

Posts: 640Steel Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
They will keep these forever, trust me. These will be worth millions in a few years' time. You shall see."
"B-but surely," whimpered a man who sat next to Paul, and dared not to look up into the eyes of Andrew. "S-surely we could just listen to our players when they need help; when they do not like our updates."
Andrew strode over to stand behind the questioning man. He put a hand on his shoulder, and the man flinched.
"Yes, we can. And we will! But we just need these partyhats to be safe, to be secure. We cannot always listen to our players... we must be strong at times, and keep our word! If they do not like that, they may attack, and we cannot fall! We need these hats!
"Now... get back to work, all of you! Program these partyhats, these Christmas crackers! We haven't much time."
Everyone hurried out of the room as fast as they could, except for Paul, who still sat at the opposite head of the table. Andrew spoke softly with his brother, smirking faintly, waiting for his plan to unravel....
Somewhere in the Wilderness, January 4, 2011...
"N-no, I can't do it!" Bob whined, his Armadyl godsword hanging pointlessly at his side.
"Come on, Bob!" Bill encouraged. "It was hard enough work to hack the RuneScape system to allow you hold a godsword at level 10 Attack, and was even harder to make enough money to actually buy it, you can do this!"
The purple partyhat sat innocently in front of them.
"B-but, it's my favorite color! I've always wanted a purple one!"
"No, no, you don't, Bob! Do you know what that is?! That's a piece of the JAGeX building! A shard of brick! It's the only way we can destroy the HQ and get some of the new quests and updates we've waited for for years!"
"But-- NYYYAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!" The godsword plunged onto the paper partyhat, and there was a roar of terror, and they were blown backward, and they could hear a faint voice whisper from within....

30-Jun-2011 23:12:21 - Last edited on 01-Jul-2011 00:15:24 by NoobáTwinzá5

NoobáTwinzá5
Feb Member 2012

NoobáTwinzá5

Posts: 640Steel Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
"Blast, someone knows our secret, MMG!" It was Andrew, co-creator of RuneScape, and he was speaking with Mod Mark Michael Gerhard.
"No, it cannot be true! They could not have!" yelled MMG, and suddenly, the two noobs, Bill and Bob, were sucked back to reality.
"What was that?!" demanded Bob, and Bill shook his head, amazed.
"They know! JAGeX knows we're going after their partyhats! They know we're trying to get rid of as many as we can!"
"So they could add more! They could add more to the game and make it harder for us to destroy them all!"
"No, they wouldn't do that. They're never going to add more partyhats, but they are going to do as much as they can to make sure we don't wreck anymore hats."
"We'll get banned! I've worked so hard on this account! Do you know how hard it was to get 10 Attack?"
"I understand, Bob, but we need to get going. We need to go back to the Mainland, to Varrock, the Grand Exchange, and find another partyhat. Don't worry, let's go."
They made their way back to Varrock. As soon as they arrived at the town center, much to their surprise, there was a level 120 standing there, bearing a red partyhat.
"Look, Bob! Another!" Bill said, ducking behind the fountain.
"We can't take him, Bill! He's too strong! He's probably got, like, 90 Defence!"
"Who cares! Give me your godsword."
Bob handed over the sword and Bill charged from behind the fountain, and the 120 turned on the spot, utterly bewildered, and then Bill struck. The godsword hit a 930 and the level 120 screamed in pain, but dropped to the ground, leaving behind only his Bandos armor and his red partyhat. Bill grabbed the partyhat and ran down the east path, Bob right behind, away from the worried and wondering players back at the center.

30-Jun-2011 23:12:33 - Last edited on 22-Jul-2011 07:02:45 by NoobáTwinzá5

NoobáTwinzá5
Feb Member 2012

NoobáTwinzá5

Posts: 640Steel Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
They did not stop running until they hit the Digsite, where there was not a person in sight. They carefully set the partyhat on the ground and Bill looked up at Bob.
"Alright, Bob. You can do this." He stood up.
"But all these partyhats! I've always wanted one, now I'll never get one!"
"Don't think about that, Bob! There are plenty other rares in this game, and this is for the sake of everyone else playing. We can do this."
Bob sighed and then rose the godsword. At once, he dropped it upon the partyhat, which erupted in a fit of high-pitched screams and roars, and it shook madly. It did not blow up, but they could hear the same two voices as they had before....
"How do you explain this, MMG?!" Andrew was getting impatient. He knew he could not add more partyhats, and he did not know what to do. He knew he should have put more pieces of the building into other rares, such as bunny ears or scythes, items that could not be traded, but he pushed that aside.
"I do not know, Andrew! It does not make sense! How did a level 5 player get to hold an Armadyl godsword?! Where do they get these partyhats?!"
"They're killing people! Outside player versus player areas! This time it was in Varrock!"
"Well, how many are left in the game?"
"We're less than twenty. They've destroyed too many. They've been doing this since the release of RuneScape 2."
"Should we ban them?"
"No, no, of course not! That would rile up more players than there are already! They haven't broken any rules, and if we do that, they'll be outraged! Cancel their subscriptions!"
"Oh dear, that is not good!"
And then the partyhat imploded into thin air. They had destroyed another partyhat, and they had less than twenty to go. They could do this.
"At least we know we can't get banned," said Bill, panting.
"Those twenty... they could be anywhere, could they? In banks, anywhere!"
And then it hit Bill. He knew where the other partyhats would be. That's where they would look. All of them would be there!

30-Jun-2011 23:12:56 - Last edited on 01-Jul-2011 01:00:28 by NoobáTwinzá5

NoobáTwinzá5
Feb Member 2012

NoobáTwinzá5

Posts: 640Steel Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Bill's Player-Owned House-December 25, 2011...
They had trained for the whole year. Both Bill and Bob had called off their hunt for the partyhats. They took time to train to their highest levels, to level 138. If they had stayed below level 10 combat, the partyhats would overpower them.
"You know, Bob, we may not see this house for a while," Bill said, looking around his house.
Bob sniffled. "I know. Can we go?"
"Yeah, yeah."
They left through the portal. Bill locked the portal to his house and they set off down the path, to the bank where the remaining partyhats were. However, on their way, they saw something that deeply confused them. Standing in their way was another 138, like themselves, however he wore a yellow partyhat.
"GET HIM!"
Bob dropped his trusty Armadyl godsword, which had been so faithful to them both in destroying the partyhats, upon the head of the 138. It ripped through the partyhat and the 138 dropped, dead, leaving behind his highly expensive armor, and at that moment, there was a high-pitched screech....
"NO! THIS CANNOT BE! HE WAS OUR STRONGEST MEMBER, OUR MOST LOYAL ONE; HE'S BEEN PLAYING SINCE 2001!" Andrew screamed to all of the JAGeX moderators in the clan chat. Andrew had taken refuge in his bedroom at his house, distraught, his mind lost.
"W-we don't know, our Lord," said one moderator who had been in the clan all morning. "They've been training for months. They've maxed out****-they're in-... indestructible!"
"NO!"
And then he lost it. He was crazed, frenzied, and he began kicking as many people as he could. The rest of the moderators began to leave themselves, not wanting to be kicked by their master, and any who were left were banished from the clan chat.
Andrew shot up from his computer chair and thrust the monitor from its spot on the desk and threw it across the room. He was insane, he could not stand it. Anytime now, those two blasted players, Bill and Bob, would find the remaining partyhats in his RuneScape bank...

30-Jun-2011 23:13:06 - Last edited on 04-Jul-2011 05:21:40 by NoobáTwinzá5

NoobáTwinzá5
Feb Member 2012

NoobáTwinzá5

Posts: 640Steel Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
... on the secret island. He had to get back to the Headquarters. He had to stop them himself, before they could get to the bank, and he knew exactly how to do it....
On a boat, somewhere in the middle of the sea-December 26, 2011...
The fierce waves crashed upon the boat and flailed it left and right. Bill and Bob clung onto it for dear life, knowing that their mission would soon be over once the reached the island.
The small island in the sea was getting closer now, and they could just barely make out the rooftops of buildings in the distance. They were so close.... So close to defeating JAGeX and taking them over, getting all of the unreleased content they so desperately craved....
And then they pulled onto the shore of the island. There was no snow on the ground, and it was pouring rain, and thundering and lightning above. It was just past midnight, and they had only found the island on their worldmap a few hours before.
They made their way through the small village. There was no one here, except for a goblin, a cow, and, strangely, a King Black Dragon. Bill spotted a bank and they walked over to it, entered, and looked around inside.
There were booths lining the walls, just like any bank, but they were taken aback by the figure at the end of the hall. There, in long, black, billowing robes, was Andrew. His player was truly horrifying; he was as pale as an onion, he lacked a nose, and he twiddled a staff between long white fingers, with pale-blue nails.
"Aha," he said, smiling now. "I am so glad you two could make it. How are you?"
"Enough with the small talk, Andrew. You know why we're here. Give us the partyhats!"
"Do you really think I am that stupid? I can do whatever I like, I can control you, I can control RuneScape, because I OWN RUNESCAPE!"
He flicked his staff through the air and Bill and Bob went flying into a wall.
"Feel my unholy wrath, NOOBS!"
They felt considerably weakened; their combat levels had been lowered to a mere level 30...

30-Jun-2011 23:13:15 - Last edited on 28-Jul-2011 04:30:45 by NoobáTwinzá5

NoobáTwinzá5
Feb Member 2012

NoobáTwinzá5

Posts: 640Steel Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
... their Prayer points had been drained to 0, and they were dangerously low on lifepoints.
Andrew waved his staff again and there appeared, out of nowhere, a hellhound, which charged at Bill and Bob and lowered their health evermore.
"You cannot defeat me! Give up! I have won!"
"Like hell!" And Bob charged, his godsword raised, at Andrew. Andrew simply stepped out of Bob's way and the latter went flying down a manhole, tumbling down a set of stairs, down toward the vaults.
"Oh, f@$k..." Andrew said, shaking his head and looking down the hole. "My partyhats are down there....
"Oh, no you don't! NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Andrew dove headfirst down the manhole, screaming after Bob. Bill ran after him, ready to help Bob in any way.
Down below, only one candle lit the whole vault. Mounds of random things were thrown into piles: Unreleased armor and weapons, skeletons, an assortment of gold treasures, such as amulets and rings.
Bill turned to watch Bob and Andrew struggle on the floor, rolling over the items and punching each other whenever they had the chance. Bob's godsword was on the floor, ten feet away from where the wrestled. Bob kicked Andrew off of him, crawled over to his sword, and then ran back to Andrew. He dropped this sword onto his head and the RuneScape co-owner fell limp.
"You think he's dead?" Bob asked.
"No, he's just knocked out. But we don't have much time, we have to find the partyhats."
They began digging through the piles of stuff. By the time they actually found one of the partyhats, Bob had decked himself out in the new armor, fancy gold rings, and golden necklaces.
They found partyhat after partyhat, and they soon had nineteen of them.... Just one more!
While Bill was throwing things aside to continue looking, he heard a clamber from his right. He turned and looked and saw Andrew getting up, stumbling groggily.
"Oh, what happened...? Oh jeez, I knew I shouldn't have gone drinking with Eduardo last night.... Wait, huh?"

30-Jun-2011 23:13:24 - Last edited on 28-Jul-2011 04:31:33 by NoobáTwinzá5

NoobáTwinzá5
Feb Member 2012

NoobáTwinzá5

Posts: 640Steel Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Andrew's eyes widened at the sight of his partyhats stacked neatly in a pile. He began to run after them but Bob stuck out his foot and tripped him.
"HOW DARE YOU?! I'LL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER, EVER DESTROY THOSE PARTYHATS! I CAN BAN YOU TWO DOWN HERE, AND NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW! O YES!
"ZAMORAK! GIVE! ME! STRENGTH!"
There was an explosion of orange flames, and Andrew had climbed back up the stairs and closed the door to the manhole. The Flames of Zamorak licked the walls of the vault, enveloping everything in its path. It was becoming deathly hot, and they had no means of escaping.
"What do we do?!" Bob screamed.
"I don't know!" Bill yelled back, and he looked around for some runes to teleport with. He saw a pile over near a statue of a man but before he could go over and pick them up, the Flames had eaten them too.
They were trapped. Now they would die, without destroying all of the partyhats, and Andrew would succeed yet again. The partyhats would surely survive contact with the Flames of Zamorak, and no one would ever know they were down here.
As soon as they were about to give up hope, they heard a rumbling from above. It sounded as though something was roaring; it grew louder and louder and then the whole vault shook as something landed inside the bank above.
It sounded as though something were beating its fists upon the floor of the bank, trying to help them get out of the burning vault. And then they saw something burst from the ceiling.... It looked like a claw.... A claw of a dragon!
What would be worse, being burned to death by Flames of Zamorak or being eaten by a dragon? It was a tough decision, but as soon as the Flames were about to engulf the very last inch of the vault, something broke through the roof and landed in the vault.
There it was, its three heads roaring from side to side, its tail flicking the burning piles of ash aside, it was a King Black Dragon.
"Come on!" Bill yelled, grabbing Bob by the wrist.
Continued on next page....

30-Jun-2011 23:14:23 - Last edited on 07-Jul-2011 08:41:49 by NoobáTwinzá5

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