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Tophurious

Tophurious

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If you're thinking this thread is low effort trash then you're right.
:)

Holy Church of Gloop is now open for recruiting. If interested leave a reply here and I'll eventually respond. If you have any questions I am more likely to reply on the forums than in game. If I stop replying to your questions then I've likely decided I don't want you for my clan. It's important to have standards ;)

What Holy Church of Gloop offers: Nothing of value.

Why join? Clan chat is virtually nonexistent so you won't have to be disturbed while you play the game. This also means there is no drama which is really nice.


Requirements for joining: Posting on this thread and praising
Lil Gloop
along with stating why you wish to join. It would also be helpful to know which activities you participate in when you play the game.
If you do not wish to join then you may guest as much as you like as long as you don't annoy me.
You will need to PM me for the guest PIN if you wish to guest.

Rules: I haven't thought of any rules yet. Just don't be a bigger jackass than i am.


Holy Church of Gloop and Bwian's Towel Shop are proud sponsors of the MUPAQ and IBATAWAT awards! The thread linked in my signature lists the nominees for these awards. Check in daily for updates and new nominees (or don't because effort).

Kings Abbot said:
The MUPAQ Award is given to someone who doesn’t read someone else’s question properly and is thus showing a low effort. If there were no effort at all, they wouldn’t have posten anything. These people would be the perfect additions to our collection clan.


Kings Abbot said:
I've been thinking of making another prize. I've seen people ask things while the answer is already given earlier (usually the post above it)
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

30-Jan-2019 21:53:21 - Last edited on 03-Jan-2020 06:13:15 by Tophurious

Tophurious

Tophurious

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-
Due to lack of qualified candidates Holy Church of Gloop will no longer be reaching out to players for recruitment. If you believe you or someone you know is worthy of joining this amazing clan then be sure to post here!

-Either Bwian's Towel & Grief shop is aim
ing to infiltrate this amazing clan or we've successfully gained 2 members. Either way expect Kings Abbot to be dishing out slimy punishment on the noobs around here.


-
Noobs and elitist scum alike are now welcome here! Feel free to guest while CC is still open to everyone!


-
All accounts found to be associated with C-town and Knights of Saradomin will now be banned because reasons.


-Holy Church of Gloop is now a proud sponsor of the MUPAQ award!

-Clan name has been changed to Holy Church of Lil Gloop! Don't worry we're still carcinogenic! :D:D:D

- We're hosting the IBATAWAT award for those who ask questions that have already been answered!

-The Holy Church of Gloop and Bwian's Gloopy awards are not associated with Nonmax Jake.

-The awards are now hosted on a separate thread in clan home! Click here to see the nominees!
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

30-Jan-2019 21:55:42 - Last edited on 25-Dec-2019 20:00:20 by Tophurious

Tophurious

Tophurious

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FiFi LaFeles said:
That's a very generous and tempting offer. But... but... you haven't really actually got a Clan, now have you.

Plus the fact I'm already in one (a real one with it's nice little 6% xp boost wotsit). However, most definitely this evening I will attempt to Guest and see what marvels there are to be seen :D


i'll be working tonight anyways so save yourself the effort of guesting.
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

20-Feb-2019 13:46:57

Tophurious

Tophurious

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Yil said:
Do you think you could stop asking everyone to join and see what they're looking for before you post in their threads?


if you can get every other recruiter to do the same then sure. :)

edit: LOL you're just a nooby recruiter that doesn't know what they're doing. you're probably afraid of having too many clans to compete with.:D
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

03-Jul-2019 03:53:15 - Last edited on 03-Jul-2019 04:00:24 by Tophurious

Tophurious

Tophurious

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FiFi LaFeles said:
You allow your wife to argue with you? Extraordinary!

She's a mere woman and should know her place; your opinion should be all she needs, no questions. If you're in a good mood you could do a bit of mansplaining to her I suppose.

Honestly, no wonder women are getting so uppity these days, if men are letting them out of the kitchen - give 'em an inch and they'll take a mile.

Make her watch 'Stepford Wives' .... that'll calm her down. Oh yeah.


lol
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

03-Jul-2019 03:55:00

Tophurious

Tophurious

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Kings Abbot said:
You're not gonna believe this...

You know when you make a puzzle and there's one piece missing you get frustrated?
I started making a puzzle (1500 pieces of the Colosseum in Rome at sunset/sunrise) and I got one piece DOUBLE. Seriously, how did they do that? It's not finished so I don't know if that means another piece is missing or they just gave me 1501 pieces instead.

Does someone have the same puzzle and that piece missing? It's on the right side edge, the fourth one from taking the bottom right corner as the first. Mostly black with some faint lines in dark blue and red. Has a hole in the top and down side, and a thingy stikking out at the left side. Rather medium sized.


this is beautiful lol
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

23-Jul-2019 15:32:33

The contents of this message have been hidden

24-Jul-2019 20:47:53

Tophurious

Tophurious

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FiFi LaFeles said:
Maybe you could get a Clan member to come in and do your cleaning - a trade-off for not having to do any work in your Citadel.

Or maybe you could become a Hoarder and live in a huge dungpile; your son won't mind, he's still to young to notice. By the time he realises you're a weirdo, he'll be old enough to clean up for you and you can sack your Clannie without severance pay.


i don't know what i would do without your brilliant ideas
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

15-Aug-2019 11:05:37

Tophurious

Tophurious

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Kings Abbot said:
Tophurious said:
Tophurious said:
Requirements for joining: Posting on this thread and praising
Lil Gloop
along with stating why you wish to join.


i recently changed the criteria for joining. the lil gloop part is important and i'll be happy to send you an invite after that's dealt with.


I praise Lil Gloop for his gloopy gloopiness.
I want a clan cape and a vexillum that I'll never use anyway.

Also, I've got an alt (Kings Abbo2), does this application cover both accounts?


welcome to the shit show! i don't see why the app can't cover two accounts. i'll be in game after i take care of the garbage and make some coffee.
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

15-Aug-2019 11:22:13

Tophurious

Tophurious

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Kings Abbot said:
Tophurious said:
that feel when the cool kid ghosts you after asking for a clan invite. that's some high quality griefing right there :P


Not my intention, sorry. I'm not online continously. I've added you to my friend list so whenever I see you're online I'll send you a PM.


HOW DARE YOU HAVE A LIFE THAT DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND AN INTERNET GAME :P
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

16-Aug-2019 13:09:50

Tophurious

Tophurious

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Kings Abbot said:
You may have noticed that I nominated some posts in my ‘frost dragon dung rarity’-thread to win the Most Unhelpful Post to Answer a Question (MUPAQ)™ Award.

I was wondering if you as Carcinogenic might sponsor this award and organize the ceremony here? The winners could receive the option to join the clan no questions asked. The MUPAQ Award is given to someone who doesn’t read someone else’s question properly and is thus showing a low effort. If there were no effort at all, they wouldn’t have posten anything. These people would be the perfect additions to our collection clan.


interesting proposition. how would i go about organizing a ceremony? would it be a weekly thing?
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

28-Aug-2019 17:05:02

Tophurious

Tophurious

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Kings Abbot said:
Tophurious said:
FiFi LaFeles said:
Totes McGotes, man. And he stole it from the Glue Factory pile outside his local Knackers yard.

I hope you'd never admit an undesirable like him into your Clan. I'm not even entirely sure he has human DNA.


but if he doesn't join how do we kick him?


Can't we kick guests from the clan chat? He wouldn't need to be part of the clan.


you're right
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

07-Sep-2019 11:04:23

Tophurious

Tophurious

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Kings Abbot said:
Tophurious said:
FiFi LaFeles said:
I'll donate a Limited Edition signed photograph of me.
The winners will, doubtless, be ecstatic.


donation means free stuff. free is good


Don’t say things like that! It attracts certain people who like a certain npc...
I think I can hear him coming already...


don't worry. we can hold rimmington hostage.;)
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

10-Sep-2019 11:55:28

Tophurious

Tophurious

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Corugi said:
Is there a way I can guest, but be in complete control, and make it so that if Fifi guests I can kick her, but she automatically returns a minute later, just so I can kick her again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again....

And there is no way she can prevent the automatic return to CC. Plus she cant log out. And if she tries to turn off her computer she gets zapped with electricity that freezes her paws to the keyboard. Yeah.

Yeah, and make it so I can just zap her with electricity anyway. Like with each kick.

Man, I would probably end up playing RS 24/7 just to do that. I would even wear steel cap boots for the occasion and yell "Oi Oi Oi!" with each kick.

*drools at the thought of this*


if you join now i'll let you kick my other guest
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

16-Sep-2019 17:56:11

Tophurious

Tophurious

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Corugi said:
Tophurious said:
you have given me much to think about


Yes, you weally do have a what to wink about.

On another point however, how many times can you bump your own thread? Somehow the number 3 keeps bumping around inside my otherwise entirely vacant head. Just asking for... science.


i believe that the rule is selectively enforced but it should be like once every 10 minutes or if it becomes obnoxious or something vague.
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

27-Sep-2019 12:15:25

Tophurious

Tophurious

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September's MUPAQ winner has been chosen! the following was written by a valued friend of the Holy Church of Gloop:

Privet my fellow comrades-in-arms,

At the behest of El Jefe Tophurious, it is my esteemed pleasure to be the judge, jury and executioner in selecting the winner for the first ever MUPAQ Award.

I am proud to announce that the winner of September 2019’s MUPAQ Award is… Entry #3 by “King Green” Tuffty!

Now, how did I arrive at this choice?

Criteria #1: Intent

Did the poster understand the thread, but choose to post a MUPAQ anyway? This, fellow tovarischi, is deliberate trolling. We all know that this competition is popular, and that the forum community has an overwhelming desire to participate in it. Well, suck it up, attention-seekers: this aren’t the competitions you’re looking for. The winner has to be a candidate who posted expecting their post to be helpful, but ended up accomplishing the exact opposite. Therefore, Entry #2 by Nine Threes was the first to be eliminated, as he had a prior post that clearly proved that he understood the thread topic.

Criteria #2: Is it too low effort, even for our rock bottom standards?

Contrary to this thread, which is low effort trash, this competition of the most esteemed MUPAQ Award is only slightly less low. Anyone can make a one-liner shitpost, even a chimpanzee. Low effort one-word or one-liners are a dime a dozen! As such, Entry #1 by Mr. “Cannot Read” AfkingAlt123 is next on the chopping block.

This left me with four remaining candidates. This was a tough call to make, as all four remaining posts were similar in quality for the purposes of this competition. Ultimately, however, I made a decision by flipping the second criteria on its head:
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

06-Oct-2019 16:35:41 - Last edited on 06-Oct-2019 16:37:26 by Tophurious

Tophurious

Tophurious

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Criteria #3: Is it high effort?

The best MUPAQ, in my opinion, is when the poster spends the most time in an attempt to provide the most information, but ends up providing the least.

Both Entry #4 by Sir UNTRIMSLAY and Entry #6 by Aethel “Other Green” Wolf were uneducated guesses almost certainly conjured up at a whim. It would have taken less than half a minute for any individual of near-human intelligence to produce such a MUPAQ, and therefore these two entries were next to be eliminated from consideration.

Now, on to the top two. This was an even tougher call to make, as both posts were extremely outstanding in quality for the purposes of this competition, despite their differences in nature.

Entry #5 by “the Dong-U-Dead” clearly indicated on the second post of the thread that they did not know the answer, and subsequently, “the Dong-U-Dead” crafted their MUPAQ thinking that it would help the OP, even though they were still unaware of the thread’s purpose. The MUPAQ produced by “the Dong-U-Dead” is also longer in length, at five lines and 489 characters.

Ultimately, however, I decided that Entry #3 by “King Green” Tuffty would be declared the official winner, because, despite his MUPAQ’s shorter length, the “King Green” Tuffty provided a link to a third-party site! See here, comrades, it is already high effort to spend over a minute rambling about rubber ducks and hungry children and whatnot, but to bother opening a brand new Internet tab, searching for an external URL, and then copying and pasting the URL into your MUPAQ?! That, everyone, is a respectably high standard that I hope to see replicated in future MUPAQ competitions.

Thus concludes my hosting of the MUPAQ Award for the month of September 2019! See you all next month!
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

06-Oct-2019 16:35:54 - Last edited on 06-Oct-2019 16:37:46 by Tophurious

Tophurious

Tophurious

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Kings Abbot said:
Tophurious said:
I wish this guy would answer questions. The way he tells people to visit a discord for his thread's reasoning is super low effort.


True. If we loosen the rules a bit (he's not really answering someone's question) we have a nominee. Unless no other nominees are found, I don't give it a high chance of winning though... People are capable of making better nominees than that.

Thought you nominated this one, only now saw you nominted Krystelle instead, which is a much better nominee!


:P
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

18-Oct-2019 00:21:28

Tophurious

Tophurious

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Corugi said:
FiFi LaFeles said:
How bestial of you.
You'll never attract more new members by being evil. Except maybe Corugi, but he's weird.


Correct. It took me many long years of hard work to perfect my evil weirdness. I am beyond reach now. I LOOK DOWN UPON YOU ALL AND CACKLE WITH MEGALOMANIAC GLEE! Then I roll around in yogurt and sprinkle myself with milo. Then I give people hugs.


not the weirdest thing i've read today
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

22-Oct-2019 10:22:36

Tophurious

Tophurious

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Corugi said:
Tophurious said:
Corugi said:
FiFi LaFeles said:
How bestial of you.
You'll never attract more new members by being evil. Except maybe Corugi, but he's weird.


Correct. It took me many long years of hard work to perfect my evil weirdness. I am beyond reach now. I LOOK DOWN UPON YOU ALL AND CACKLE WITH MEGALOMANIAC GLEE! Then I roll around in yogurt and sprinkle myself with milo. Then I give people hugs.


not the weirdest thing i've read today


Oh yeah?

Look pal, I am the most evil weird dude ever. EVAR! If you were to start a WPOTM ( Weirdest post of the Month ) award thingy thing. I would win every time. EVARYTIME!@

!!!6!!!

That's if I could be bothered. Which is unlikely. Seeing as how I am not only weirdly evil but also exceptionally talented at being exceedingly lazy as well. So there! I think.


you'd be immediately disqualified from that contest
no fun allowed, guys.
Do you like towels?

22-Oct-2019 19:28:10

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